new little life

A new little life was brought into the world this week. Little Helena Elizabeth. She is beautiful. She already has a protective big sister and enough "aunts" to fight off anyone. She is loved. We got the phone call at midnight Tuesday night that it wouldn't be long. My family immediately mobilized the troops and handed out assignments. My mom was to take new mom to the hospital, with my dad driving (they are good at staying calm in chaos). My younger sister and I were stationed at this growing family's house spending the night with their two year old who was already down for the night. The husband was coming straight from work to meet them at the hospital and everyone else was on standby. Sister (or fishy as her older sister has lovingly called her for months), came into this world at around 8AM. She only didn't have a name for a minute which if you think about it is pretty good- I mean there is a lot of pressure that goes into that... That day, when I asked her big sister what happened (besides telling me that the pool "robot" sprayed her), she happily told me that her mom had a baby and that she became a big sister. Already the beautiful kind of pride shown in her eyes as she continued to explain to me the sounds her sister made (she was crying), the way her sister felt (she was soft), and what her sister was doing (taking a bath). She announced that it was her sister's Boofday (birthday) and continued to talk about the crying (even making the actual sound). As she spoke, I saw hints of the uncertainty we all knew would be there. In her two-year-old mind she was turning over thoughts of sharing mom and dad, sharing toys, sharing time... sharing life, not that she can conceptualize this yet, but the process has begun. It starts so young and a child can either grow bitter toward a younger sibling or grow in love for them - on their team and supporting them - or I suppose they could be indifferent. I am not a parent and cannot speak for how this is done, but can attest to the fact that it was done for me. Isn't it interesting how our automatic reaction is "Mine!"? I dont think anyone teaches a child that and yet, it is what we do. I am praying for this big sister that "Mine!" will be taken out of her vocabulary and that she will learn early on the beauty in sharing everything with this baby who could one day be her best friend: delighting over learning to ride a bike, getting frustrated over falling, crying over relationships, celebrating over a batch of cookies, coping over a pint of icecream, laughing over nail polish and magazines, whispering over coffee, weeping over failure, rejoicing over small things and loving over mistakes- possibly the girl that will stand by her on the biggest days of her life and a girl who will know her better than anyone, if they allow it. Sisters can be such a gift. What a blessing to get to watch this precious family grow...

oh life

Life is such a funny thing... constant transition. School begins in the fall and ends in the spring and even though I am not technically apart of the school system anymore, it has caused me to think: maybe that's the only normal part about life - the transition. We've been doing it since we were young but somehow it still feels unnatural. It's safer to just stay where we are, but sometimes there's a limb just a few steps away, waiting for us to take a step out. I can remember being a young girl and completely stressed out about moving from 5th grade to middle school. In my tiny head, nothing could be better than elementary school. How silly that I felt the same way leaving middle school and high school and the worst yet, leaving college. And still change is happening all around me. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it. The good news is that if you're in a rough situation or stage of life, you can rest in the fact that life is constantly changing, but if you are somewhere you love, you must tell yourself to remember that you cannot hold onto that moment forever and to truly live in it because it will be over at some point. It is temporary. Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines (a book I would highly recommend) quoted a friend of hers saying that on this journey, "everything is interim" (p.206) ... hmmm everything is interim. I think I agree with her. Each path is somehow leading to another path and another and another and another until we leave this earth. Students continue to progress from one grade to the next, seasons bring different moods and emotions to the surface, people get promotions or decide to move or get married or stay home to start a family, goals and dreams develop and adapt, and frequently it is all uncontrollable - like getting older- it is just happening. Life changes as fast as the time it takes to rearrange a bedroom or change your nail polish from hot pink to sea foam green. It is constantly moving, shifting, turning in unexpected ways. Friends come and go, some sticking, but most flowing - and that's how it's supposed to be. We need different people in our lives for different seasons... Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Absolutely. We wouldn't be the people we are had our lives stayed the same for years. Sara Groves sings a song called Painting Pictures of Egypt - the chorus is what I'm talking about:
I've been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked,
the future seemed so hard and I wanna go back.
But the places that used to fit me, cannot hold the things I've learned.
Those roads were closed off to me, when my back was turned.

The past that we remember is not always accurate, which is such a beautiful thing - And the future is scary - transitions around every corner. But we can't go back, because now we are older and have grown wiser. And now those places where we belonged are too small. We have outgrown them. And it is a beautiful thing. Without a doubt, the biggest comfort to me in all of this is serving a God who is big on plans. He sees the turns ahead and just asks me to trust who I know Him to be. Oh for the grace to do just that. Anything can happen. Life is scary. Transition is uncomfortable. But God is good. Thank goodness.

Book: Niequist, Shana. Cold Tangerines. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2007.
Song: Groves, Sara. Painting Pictures of Egypt.