clean and strong

Well friends. We're doing it. We started Monday and it was not as hard as I had expected. Sure there were some moments of weakness, but I didn't give in. Because the result will be worth it: Clean and Strong. That is the motto for May. To let you know how serious we are, Abby and I are using the bathtub and bicep emoticons to encourage each other this month - get it? Clean and Strong :) We're proud.

So what is this journey we are taking? In a very small way, it is a journey back to the basics - away from processed foods and toward healthier living. No dairy. No meat. No white flour. No alcohol. No sugar (well except fruit). Similar to The Daniel Fast but with a few changes of my own. For about 2 milliseconds, I thought about enforcing the "No coffee" rule and then I laughed and decided I would just drink it black and see how it goes (it's going well, thank you). We are using few spices and seasonings and working to enjoy food the way it is naturally. I'm not gonna lie - I did grocery shop at Walmart this week for my fruits and vegetables, but it was 10:30 on Sunday night and let me just tell you that the shopping options were limited...
Enter Lesson #1: Planning ahead. Eeeesh. I know I'm not a great meal planner, but the last few days have shown some serious needs for improvement in this area. For the last (little ish) while, I gave up planning ahead and decided that running through Taco Bueno or Chick-fil-A was going to have to do. Doing this every once in awhile is great - I am definitely not anti-fast food, but I want it to be the exception, not the rule. So I will be training myself to plan. (Yes, Ali, I will be taking any advice you have to offer, oh wise and thrifty meal planner extraordinaire...)

Growing up, my mom always said that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So that's what we're doing: Changing our habits. For 21 days, we are simplifying and refocusing and fasting. We are learning and hopefully these lessons will stick (ish - I'm not hoping to become crazy - just smart. And clean and strong :)
I guess really this all started because of reading Jen Hatmaker's book, 7. I love the way this book is written: She is not saying that everyone should do her "experiment", but she is encouraging people to look at their lives and see where they've missed the point or gotten off track. Basically her 7 experiment was to focus on a different area for each month of 7 months and fast and dig deep to the root of all of the excess. For example, during food month, she only ate 7 different foods; then in stress month, she paused 7 times each day to pray; during clothing month, she only wore 7 items of clothing and so on. The book is convicting and hilarious and absolutely not judgmental or pointing fingers. She admits we're all apart of the never ending cycle of more until we stop it. I so appreciate her take on all of this. So, when Abby asked if I wanted to simplify for a little bit, I easily said yes...
Today it's fine. Tomorrow maybe, maybe not :)
But there will be grace and encouragement along the way...

so it's been awhile...

i didn't think anyone was still checking this blog, but it turns out that someone is - my blog status page shows that one person checks each day - even after months of no blogging whatsoever. so for that faithful viewer (and for you others who received the email notification saying "COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORK IN HER (2nd) BLOG DEBUT, KATIE, THE GIRL WHO NEVER WRITES ANYMORE!" haha)...

so i have been wondering how to re-enter the blog world - do you address the long absence? do you need to write something that will change lives? do you ignore the fact that you haven't written publicly for 6 months? these are the questions and the problem is that i don't have answers. honestly i am not sure what happened. I had been so faithful - blogging about thanksgiving every day and then i missed a day and then one day turned into two and three and four and so on.... this type of things happens to me occasionally so i shouldn't be to terribly surprised...

"I am going to be a runner!" you announce to the world. so you train and run a half marathon and then a year goes by and looking back you can (shamefully and quite literally) don't need a full hand to count the number of times you ran...

"I am going to eat Paleo!" so confident, so sure... well maybe i'm going to eat Paleo on weekdays (weekends are so hard) but Friday counts as the weekend right? and my favorite day of the week is Thursday so my weekends sort of begin then. but Mondays are just so hard anyway so probably i shouldn't add to that stress. i mean is Paleo really worth it if i only eat it two days a week? probably not... hey Katie, do you want to go to Chuys? Mr. Chopsticks? Chick-fil-a? Roosters?..... why yes, yes i do.... i'm sorry Paleo who?

not that i don't ever stick to anything - i guess maybe it has to really matter to me. and i'm not saying this blog doesn't - but maybe that i forgot that it mattered? ya maybe that's it...

for the most part, i do consider myself a loyal person - for example i am incredibly faithful to (and defensive of) my family and friends. because honestly i have the best ones around. and when i look at the last several months, i am overwhelmed at how they have been there for me in difficult times and in times of celebration. one will call just to check in on like the worst day i've had in awhile. one will schedule a 2 hour phone date so we can (finally) hear what is going on with each other and then she'll ask questions that tell me she knows my heart and cares so deeply for me. one will help celebrate small victories (because she knows that for me, they are not small). one will cry over the phone because, even a couple hundred miles away, she simply knows. one will call to see if i'm going to Bible study and when i say no (for no good reason), she'll show up to pick me up. several will meet me for breakfast, lunch, happy hour, coffee, dinner, dessert, wine, or whatever works because we don't want life to pass by and us forget to know each other. they will sit with me on patios, in restaurants, at my apartment, at my mama's house, by the pool, in a coffee shop and they'll ask and then they'll listen. gosh. one thing i know for sure is that i am blessed by the people around me.

so what has been going on in the last several months? well in some ways it has seemed like the longest stretch of time there has ever been. and in other ways i feel like it absolutely flew. isn't time bizarre? 

well i moved, had a sweet family Christmas, went to California by myself (best trip ever - maybe more on that later, but i'm not making promises...), went to Abilene (a couple of times), went to Galveston, celebrated many birthdays, went to OKC, went to Canton, started my own business with Mary Kay (WHOA - talk about a whirlwind), celebrated my childhood best friend getting married, celebrated the first "four blonde" baby (and the second on the way EEEK!), applied for new jobs, found out about several babies on the way (please let ONE of them be a girl!!), celebrated engagements, studied the book of James with incredible women, joined a home group (who am I?), laughed a ton, cried a ton, drank more coffee than anyone should ever, read several books (goal for the year is to read a book a month and i'm happy to say i am well on my way :), listened to new music (thanks, Jenny!), caught up with blogs i love (one of which reminded me yesterday that the purpose of her blogging is to document life - like her own little scrapbook - thanks, Shay! - which is what this originally was for me anyway...) 

i will say that i am so happy that it is May :) warm weather in the afternoons and cool evenings is heavenly. i plan to spend the better part of this month outdoors - either on a patio or by the pool or walking around Canton (see you Saturday!) i have plans to spend time with good friends and am gearing up for summer which is my favorite time of year. (hello, Fourth of July!!! ...visions of fireworks dancing in my head.... yes, fireworks dance, okay?) so thanks for hanging in there with me and thanks to my incredible friends and family for just being there - sometimes "there" is all i need :)

happy May Day, team!

here's to new beginnings!

ps if you haven't heard, Starbucks is so excited about May, they are bringing back Frappy Hour! Half priced frappes from 3-5 on May 1-10! :) you are welcome.

original source: http://kikicomin.weebly.com/thanksgiving.html

Her prints for Christmas are also beautiful :) 

remember

It's so easy to let our emotions get the best of us, isn't it? I mean sometimes I'm just walking along and out of nowhere (okay not exactly out of nowhere, but relatively unexpectedly), I am overcome with anxiety. My emotions just take off like a spaceship and suddenly I am soaring into another dimension. I know some of you are reading this and thinking that I must have some type of anxiety disorder or something and maybe you're right. Or maybe of we're honest, this happens to us sometimes. I just forget that my emotions can be deceiving and sometimes they tell me that everything is going to go wrong and nothing will turn out right and I believe them. Actually now that I think about it they might be right, but just coming from the wrong emotional state. Let me explain.
If my emotions tell me nothing is going to turn out the way I think it should (note: remind me to tell you later about the word "should"), they might be right, but is that a bad thing? Or is it just what it is? Maybe what I think is the right way or the best thing really isn't. Maybe there's actually someone orchestrating this whole deal and maybe (just maybe) it's not actually about me. Whoa. Revolutionary, I know. So when my emotions get the best of me, what do I need? Truth. I need truth. I need to know the promises of God so that in anxiety-ridden turmoil, I can remember what I already know - that I am loved, that God cares about me, that I have been redeemed, that this life is not the end of the story. And you know what emotion comes out of those truths? Yep. Gratitude. A great and overpowering sense of awe at the fact that I deserve nothing and yet have been given so much. A sense that, even when I am melting down because I don't trust the One who is in control, He is for me and my heart swells with thanksgiving. A long time ago I was given a daily devotional called "My Utmost for His Highest" (written by Oswald Chambers). I was told that this book would change my life and honestly, I read a few days, but wasn't really super into it. Every once in awhile I will pick it back up and read a day or two, but for the most part it sits on my dresser with a few other books holding up a vase and serves a merely aesthetic purpose. For some reason I spotted it today while I was putting on my makeup and decided to read today's devotional. Here's the first sentence:

We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus.

Insert the gritting teeth emoticon at the end of that sentence. Oh dear. After the meltdown that I had yesterday and the gentle reminder that I received last night that my emotions are not always telling me the truth, I read that sentence and knew that the fact that I spotted the book today was a gentle calling from my God to remember Him in truth and in love and in gratitude. Ann Voskamp would call this eucharisteo - to remember and give thanks. And isn't that the point? It is definitely my hope for my 21 Days of Thanksgiving.

to remember and give thanks

a thankful heart is a happy heart

Does anyone remember that Veggie Tales song??? You know Junior Asparagus is sitting with his mom and dad singing about an apple pie while that gigantic shopping mart is being built? I think it's from Madame Blueberry??? No? Just me then... Well that song has been stuck in my head for days.
...because a thankful heart is a happy heart. I'm glad for what I have. That's an easy way to start....
As a (former) die hard fan of Veggie Tales, I will defend it to the ground, although there are some odd lyrics to some of the songs - I mean get serious, Larry, everyone does not have a water buffalo and no matter what you say, I cannot believe that your lips got stuck in a gate, ever. I don't even think you have lips... Anyway I'm sure I had a point.... Oh yes.

I'm glad for what I have. That's an easy way to start.

Today, I truly am glad for what I have. And honestly, some days that's all I can muster up the strength to be thankful for. I have been given a roof over my head, food to eat, an incredible family, and friends who know love me no matter what. And that is definitely something to be thankful for. The interesting thing is that when I actually stop to consider what all I am thankful for, the gifts seem to just pour in - I guess I could probably chalk that up to lack of awareness on my part. Surely these things have always been there. Like that beautiful gigantic house across the neighborhood from us, or the guy working at Chick-fil-a who wished me a blessed day, or the bright red trees around Denton, or my parent's neighbors who have lived there longer than we have and apparently put their Christmas lights up every year on November 1 - each of these things - so simple and special could be missed if I'm not looking for gifts. And that's what they are: gifts. Things I have taken for granted, rather than truly appreciating the woman who doesn't want to waste a second after Halloween by not spreading holiday cheer. Simple gifts. They are overlooked, but not hidden. If we look for them, we will find them.

What gifts have you seen today?


PS Today is 11-12-13 in case anyone missed that :)

sample girls

Today is a very special day. Not only are we still celebrating 21 Days of Thanksgiving but it is also Monday, which means it's...

Meet-Someone-New Monday

Don't worry, I have a great plan to combine the two. Tonight I was blessed to spend a wonderful evening with two incredible friends. You know how every once in awhile friends just click? Like Bert and Ernie or Robin and Lily or Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston? It's just meant to be. Well these two girls would fall into that category. They have known each other since before their awkward stages and endured the absurdity of middle school together (how any of us survive that trauma is beyond me). They have gone through rocky phases where they didn't know if they would remain friends or even be acquaintances and now they are rooming together in a quaint little apartment in Dallas. They have hard moments, but they understand each other. They laughed hysterically tonight as they told stories of the things that go on in their apartment - little quirks that they both have and how hilarious they think each other are. They have been through a lot. And somehow, through the grace of a loving Father, they ended up in the same city and sharing the same space. And they know that it is a blessing. At different times tonight, they each expressed how much they love that they get to live together and I was filled with a sweet kind of comfort as I listened to two girls, who are younger than me, share what they think about this bizarre stage of life we are all in. They are wise. They battle the world together and consistently remind each other who they really are and that work does not and will not define them. They are defined by so much more. I'll let you meet them separately: one here and the other here but if you ever get the chance to hang out with them together, you should. You can probably find them at Central Market, where they have become known as the sample girls, or at Starbucks, drinking coffee as they discuss matters of the heart. These girls are such a blessing to me and to each other. I am so glad I know them and even more glad that they are only a short drive away. I am thankful we were able to sit down and talk and laugh and express fear and anxiety and share wisdom and laugh and talk and laugh some more. So so very thankful. Actually thankful doesn't even begin to cover it...

Thweet, Wheels and Yougs together again. Love you ladies, more than you know :)

...and be thankful...

A few days ago, I began here to explore the importance of giving thanks. It hasn't been but a few days of writing and thinking through thankfulness and so far it has remained on the complete forefront of my mind. That day I started this topic/series, I just felt like I needed to remind myself to remember (yes I see the ridiculousness in that statement) the goodness of God. So I began writing about it. Since I set somewhat of a goal to write consistently about this, it has forced the topic to the front of my mind and I'm so glad. Looking and finding gifts everywhere has been a source of pure joy for the last few days. Not that every moment has been flawless, but I just keep realizing that I have much to be thankful for. And wouldn't you know that in pure God fashion, today Matt closed the service at The Village Church by reminding us of the importance of thanking God for His goodness toward us. He preached from Colossians 3 and the whole podcast would be worth listening to, but the end was especially impactful, as I have been practicing thankfulness. Colossians 3:15-17 says:

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

And be thankful.
And BE THANKFUL. Matt encouraged us to stop comparing our lives with others and to quit cataloguing all of the things we don't have, but instead start focusing on all we have been given. Multiple times, he said to become an expert on how good God has been to you. (You can't access the whole podcast yet since it was just preached today, but later this week, you'll be able to listen here - it's Week 11 of a twelve week series called "Recovering Redemption" and I would definitely recommend the whole series).

Let us remember to give thanks to a good God, who in love, gives abundantly to us and 

may the Lord help us grow in gratitude.

playing dress-up

When we were little, very little, my Granny gave us a trunk full of dress up clothes for Christmas and I guess that's where it began. We have video footage of my sisters and I strutting around in big hats and feathered boas and gloves up to our elbows. We giggled and oohed and ahhed as we pulled sparkly bright colored garments out of boxes. Keila wasn't even born yet so I couldn't have been 18 months old. And as we walked around, the adults in the room played up our glamorous ensembles by applauding and congratulating us on our beauty. And we (based on our response in the video) loved it. We knew we were cherished and loved so deeply - first by a thoughtful gift and then by trusted family members instilling in us this truth: You are beautiful to me.
I read this blog post this past week, which probably started this thought process but I was thinking about it today as we, yet again, were found with a few occasions to play dress up. Today I was able to spend a little time with some of my closest friends and family picking out the perfect outfit combinations - using some of their items and some of mine, we pieced together outfits that both reflected the person and made them feel beautiful. This kind of "work" brings me much joy. It forced me to pause and reflect on how thankful I am to be brought up in a family that cherished beauty and instilled in me a sense of confidence in my own beauty.
Growing up, we did fashion shows after ever shopping trip and we knew that my dad thought us to be the most beautiful girls in the world (second only to Mama - I mean who could blame him???).  And I am filled with great thankfulness for his love for me and the way that reflects the Fathers. I am also thankful for reasons to dress up and celebrate and be girly. This morning was a gift and I know this evening will be for each of us as well.

Here's to celebrating beauty!

Thanks for Being My Friend

Today I am so thankful for old friends who know the truth and aren't afraid to speak it. I sat at dinner tonight with a girl I have known for most of my life. We met around the third grade when I wished that I could be her because she had way better hair than me (beautiful, thick, red hair) and could still a crowd with her voice. She was given (completely deserved) the lead in our church musical and I was overcome with jealousy. I sometimes think that I am more gifted in the singing department than I actually am and in the third grade, when she got to sing the solo in "Thanks for Being My Friend," I thought my life was over. It wasn't. I survived and we moved on and became inseparable in early high school. Since then our paths have crossed at divine times. She boldly speaks truth into mine and I laugh hysterically at her stories and her passion. She loves the Lord.
Tonight I was letting her in on my struggle with discontentment and consistent wondering if I am making the right decisions and she calmly listened and replied that we have much to be thankful for because our decisions don't really matter. This, of course, caused me pause because I have developed the destructive habit of thinking that my decisions absolutely have the power to perfect or destroy my life. Oh how wrong I have been. My decisions do not determine my joy (just imagine the turmoil that would cause); it is the Lord who is constantly at work in me for his glory alone. Hallelujah. She quoted to me Isaiah 54:10 (which I am now looking up in my Bible):

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

In other words, regardless of your situation or circumstance, no matter where you find yourself or what turmoil is occurring around you, the Lord is steadfast. He has compassion on you and he will not remove his covenant of peace. His covenant of peace... I don't understand this completely, but I am confident that it is truth and I am choosing to remind myself to be thankful - for grace and mercy and peace - all given to me regardless of my ridiculous mess or behavior or anxiety.
For Jesus said:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.

Peace, dear friends. Today, I am thankful for peace.

Twenty-one Days of Thanksgiving

Starting today there are 21 days until Thanksgiving! TWENTY ONE DAYS?! That just doesn't seem possible. Maybe it's because September and October have sort of turned into a blur. As I was sitting at my house last Sunday afternoon by myself watching Meet Me In St. Louis, which happens to be one of my favorites, I was filled with gratitude toward a month that celebrates Thanksgiving. I couldn't express how important giving thanks is and I am glad about that. I want to be a person who looks for gifts and finds a something to be thankful for around every turn. There is much to be thankful for and if I spent the rest of my life naming things, I don't think I could get them all. Some days it is easy to forget to look for things to be thankful for. We are creatures of habit and somehow it is so easy to adopt an attitude of bitterness or discontent, but I read a book one time (that I have referenced before here) about giving thanks and the life-changing impact it had on this author. I keep coming back to it in my life and I think she might be on to something. I have gone back and re-read my blogs from September and October and although there were good times and moments in those rapid months, there was also a lot of unrest and discontentment. Well today I am declaring war on that tendency in me to be frustrated and unsettled and the only way I know how to do that is to continue to give thanks, even for the little things and even in tough situations.

The most important part of thanksgiving is that it gives the credit somewhere else. So it stops being about how great I am or how incredible is this life, that I mistakenly believe, I have created for myself. No. Thanksgiving says "How great You are. And how incredible this life You have given to me." Thanksgiving recognizes the gift and the giver and we need to practice it. Because this life is not a story about me. And the more I can pound that into my ridiculously stubborn and selfish brain, the better off I'll be.

I am going to attempt something pretty bold. I read a blog yesterday by a pretty incredible woman named Ashley. Throughout the month of October, she blogged about peace. Some of the blogs were pretty heartfelt and others were just a quick snapshot. Using her as inspiration, I plan to spend the next 21 days blogging about thankfulness - what I'm learning about it, how simple or complex it can be, how my heart feels, how gratitude can affect even the smallest of moments, and how difficult it all is. I don't expect it to be easy, but I do think it will be good. So, come along with me on a journey to developing a thankful heart. I can't think of many better way to invest my time.

Photo Credit

making a list.. checking it twice...

wait that's the wrong holiday...
maybe what I mean to say is... is... are there Halloween songs? I feel like there should be but now I can't think of any... hmmm. well anyway.
I made a list last week on the blog and have had a fun and enlightening week of checking it off. (Literally I kept forgetting what was on the list so I checked it way more than twice...) And this blog post will complete it. I had fun completing all of the things, but I also realized some things along the way... The always funny thing about me is that I think I can fix me. I think that making a list or a change, getting my hair cut or my nails done, drinking more coffee or having a glass of wine, might change me, but I was / am / foreverwillbe mistaken. If I think that it is possible to add value or purpose to my life by making a small list, I've lost track of what I really need. This week was a completely broken and sweet reminder of that. I cannot change simply by adding things to my To Do list. I need a heart change. And that doesn't come from me. I used to wish it was that easy - that I could just do a couple of quick things and I'd be fine, but I know that if I could change myself - if something I did could add value to me, I would lose sight of something so much more important. And that is the fact that there is someone much more powerful than me, who created me, who loves me, and He alone not only says I am valuable, but he makes me valuable (when let's face it, I am the ultimate suck *Thank you 8th grade Bible study for that lesson*). And even though I don't always understand those things and I don't always feel like they are true, I know in the deepest parts of who I am that they most definitely are true. The Creator of the Universe called me and He can see better than anyone else how much of a mess I am and still he covers it - not because he doesn't know it's there, but because he loves me and knows that I could never be enough. Only Jesus is enough. And that reminder was so painful to get to this week, but I know it is true and I will make the effort to be faithful in the small things and try to trust that He is at work in me. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.

The cool part about a list like this is that, even though there were meltdown moments this week, there were also some really fun moments. Even though a list like this doesn't fix my circumstance or heart, most of these items caused me to slow down and take a deep breath and evaluate and enjoy life - and that was the point. So, make your own list and bravely check things off. Force yourself to take a step outside of yourself and actually see the world around you. I don't think you'll regret it...
I don't have pictures of everything on the list, but I did manage to snag a few:

Here is a picture of Scarecrow Treats. Got this recipe from here - It's Mix and Match Mama :) I have referenced Shay's blog before and truly she has become my go to for fun and simple treats. I did burn my finger on this one, but it healed nicely and I know these were a hit at my sister's Halloween party tonight :) I also made these Sweet and Salty Oreos (not pictured which is unfortunate because they turned out so pretty!) and they were super easy!!!

Here are a couple from the Dallas Arboretum. I am seriously considering becoming a member! It was so wonderful - despite the ridiculous traffic on 635 that made me want to die. Luckily I was in good company and we had wine with us so as soon as we found a spot to "set up camp" we opened a bottle of wine and it was smooth sailing from there!

LOOK AT THESE COLORS!!!! (photo cred to Deb :)

This is my current background on my work computer, which just makes me happy :)

Pumpkin carving was an adventure too... I tend to be a little ambitious when it comes to pumpkin carving... but I usually have a stencil. This time not so much. I just drew it on the pumpkin and started carving. There were panic moments along the way, but overall we were so pleased with all of the pumpkins!

Then last night I had a relaxing hour or so to walk around the children's department of Barnes and Noble. I love that place. It is happy :) The first book I read, I just fell in love with...
Here it is pictured... It's called "The I'm Not Scared Book." I figured I would like it just based on the title alone. And it did not disappoint.
The last page was my favorite:
Sometimes we are scared of things because we don't understand them.
When you are afraid, tell someone why and maybe you won't be scared anymore. The End. Love, Todd
How true and such a good reminder, especially for me :)


And then I got to end my evening with a cup of decaf pumpkin spice - it was glorious, as Ali would say. I want to be clear that even though this list was great and honestly fun to complete, it is not what fulfills me. The list does not complete any part of me and there were still rough moments of this week, as I imagine there always will be... But I am so glad I did it. Sometimes it is so nice to take a step back and re-evaluate and do things that you know are good for you. Like drink coffee and read children's books. Simple. Precious. Life.

PS

jar salad caution

So I found a great pin on Pinterest a few weeks ago: Jar Salad. Jar Salad! How has this never been invented before?! Am I right??? The idea is so simple and looked like it would really ease the stress of work week lunches so I jumped on board. I made four jar salads on Monday evening for the week. Typically I do not re-use recipes. I make things one time and then move on to others. Of course there will always be the defaults: spaghetti, burrito bowl, roasted vegetables, but most of my recipes are one hit wonders and never appear on stage again. And not because I don't enjoy cooking them or because they are just too big of a pain, but mostly because I just don't want to do it again. The jar salads, however, would be different. I decided that this was a genius way to pack lunch for the week once and then not have to think about it. I got all my ingredients together, made quinoa (I know, impressive) and the whole process took less than 30 minutes. I was so pleased. And my jars were so pretty! LOOK!

So I went on my merry way to work on Tuesday and loved lunch. It was so easy and cute and fun. And it tasted great! The dressing goes in the very bottom (point being it doesn't touch the lettuce until you are ready to eat it) so it didn't get wilty or anything. Gold Star for this recipe :) And clearly, I enjoyed it...

But then the week happened and it was a busy week for all of us. I brought the salad on Wednesday and Thursday and even Friday. Yay me! Gold Star for Katie :) On Friday, however, the salad looked... well... different. And I was concerned so decided that I just couldn't eat the salad again. I'm sure it would have been fine and I'm sure this is not because of my extreme concern with food going bad or my despise of leftovers, but something was happening to the onions throughout the week as they sat in the dressing and it was not pretty. The beautiful salads I had made had turned questionable at best and I just couldn't.
So I threw it away :( I think maybe the oil in the fridge was a problem too... The only word I can think to use is that it was congealing... (ew. insert medical mask emoticon here).

I still think you should try this method. Maybe without dressing in it? Or maybe only making 2-3 jars at a time. Don't go nuts like I did... Use Caution- with food prep, it'll be one of your best allies...

the longest month of my life

I was thinking yesterday that this has got to be the longest month ever! October seems to be neverending, which normally would be okay with me. I love fall weather and pumpkin everything. But for some reason this year I am having a hard time getting into the fall spirit. Maybe it's because the pumpkin spice latte came out in August this year (curse you, Starbucks!) :( :( :( okay I take it back. I know better than that. Never, ever curse Starbucks... But seriously something weird is happening this October and it seems to be the month that goes on and on and on and on and on and on... Today I woke up and much to my despair realized there is still A WHOLE NOTHER week left in this blessed month. I started out being super frustrated with this discovery, but realize there's nothing I can do about it so the only other option was to figure out a way to enjoy it. And I want to really enjoy it because I know myself and about the time it's over, I am going to be wishing for October again. Oh my restless heart. 

So since I want to really live it up this October, I am making an "end of October bucket list" You may recall my recent victories with short term goals. Well, this will be similar to short term goal setting, but better :) I am so excited to present to you my last week bucket list. 

Katie's Plan to Celebrate October

1. Make fun Halloween Treats

2. Drink a pumpkin spice latte in a "for here" mug

3. Go to the Arboretum

4. Make butternut squash soup

5. Be outside for a consecutive 15 minutes (at least) everyday

6. Watch You've Got Mail (most likely with Keila)

7. Carve a pumpkin

8. Watch Football
9. Write 2 blog posts

10. Enjoy pre-daylight savings time with a glass of wine on a patio.
11. Spend some time in the children's book section of Barnes and Noble.

So next week, I will update you on my progress with this list as I celebrate the last week of this ridiculously long month. Don't forget to celebrate the end of October this year! Chances are, you will be a completely new person by the time it comes around again :)



saying see ya, September!

maybe a little late ish considering we're a week into October... but still...
September was a month comprised with ups and downs. I thought that there was no way to redeem a month of that much turmoil, but it turns out that even the hardest months can have some redemption. The last week of September came with the small amount of relief that I needed to still have faith in Septembers. And it was awesome.

The week began with the kick off to a much anticipated season. Autumn had finally arrived. To commemorate the day, my roommates and I had planned a Happy Fall Party! We totally stole the idea from one of my favorite blogs: shullfamily.blogspot.com
Shay Shull is a super sweet, really down to earth girl, who has a heartbeat for cooking, her family and the Lord (not quite in that order!) She is great and you should read her blog too. I have tried out several of her ideas, but this one was by far my favorite. Every year she and her friends do a post Labor Day scarf exchange (think white elephant gift exchange). I told my roommates about it and we just couldn't handle it; so we hosted a scarf exchange of our own! And it was way too much fun. We had it in our home and made lots of fun Fall desserts and snacks. We had almost 20 girls come and bring scarves and we laughed as we exchanged them. There were some super cute scarves and these women were ruthless about stealing. (Well most of them. My sweet friend, Brittany, didn't want to steal because she thought that the scarf looked so good on one of the other girls :) I love my friends!!! We had the best time :) The group was made up of different people from different parts of our lives so as their number came up, each girl had to share who they were and how they were connected to the group. It was so fun to bring together women from all different parts of our lives to hang out for one evening. A huge THANK YOU to Shay for this awesome idea :)
Here we are at the end of the party with our new scarves:

Then the week flew by and I could tell that a change in weather was coming. I was housesitting for my parents and loving the quietness and comfort of the house I grew up in - the only house I can remember from my childhood.

On Friday night, my oldest sister, Abby came into town. Now, I love my family. Anyone who knows me knows that, and I absolutely treasure any time we all get to spend together, but every once in a while a weekend happens that is unreal. We just click and understand each other and things flow so easily. It all just seems simple. And this was one of those. We had sibling dinner at Ali's comfortable home and then went out for pumpkin spice lattes (decaf and in "for here" mugs) and laughed some but mostly cried because sometimes life is more complicated than we expect and sometimes there is more pain than we are willing to let on to just anyone. But in the safety of these sisters, there is comfort and rest - not because of us, but because of the Lord. The One who created us and placed each of us in our family carefully orchestrated each of our minds to be at certain points for that moment and there was pain, but there was also hope. We chatted for a couple of hours that night before we had to head back to my parents to welcome them home from vacation. And then the rest of the weekend was peaceful and joyful. My grandparents joined us and my aunt and her family. We celebrated my favorite man on earth and rejoiced in the fact that he was born 56 years ago and graciously given to us as a Dad. Little man pulled up on one of his push toys and took a few steps with the help of the toy on wheels and the women went to a craft show while the men watched football. And for the weekend everything just was fine - better than fine, actually it was great. We have a gracious God and the love of family and couldn't have asked for more. All of us had endured pretty rotten Septembers. We needed some relief and some hope and just some home - to remind us who we are and who we want to be. And it was given to us. We left that weekend so sad to go, but so thankful for the gift to have had time together again.

September was a rough month and I was so ready to say goodbye, but the last weekend truly redeemed a whole month of questioning and uncertainty. I am thankful for Fall, for cool weather and change, for football and family and friends, and for a God who loves me and meets a need before I can speak a want.

Still, I was okay with saying "See ya, September!" And so happy to move on to October. The weather is remarkable and the people seem refreshed (probably from not having to endure 100 degrees on their drive to work). Maybe a week late, but Happy October, World! I hope you were as happy to see it coming and I was :)

so you think to yourself...

if I run a half marathon, then I will be a runner.
So you train
from January til April, increasing mileage weekly but never looking ahead to what the next week might hold. On Sunday of week 4, you know that if you run 5 miles, you will call it a miracle, but you can't possibly think ahead to the coming weeks when you will run 7, then someday 9 - all leading up to the big day, when you will run more than double that measly little run of week 4. Week 4 is tough. Many of your longer run days feel like make it or break it days, but for some reason week 4 is a deciding factor. But you make it through and you settle into your "easy" three mile run on the first day of week 5 trying not to acknowledge that there is no turning back now. And you are scarily aware that three miles has become an easy run. In these moments pride mixes with anxiety and knowing that you will burst if you linger for one moment longer on the truth that there are many, many more miles to come, you concentrate instead on each step. Just one foot in front of the other. Simple. Methodic. Rhythmic. And pace after pace your stress eases.

Then suddenly its 9 mile day. You are painfully aware that you have not completed all of the miles you should have logged by now, but you remind yourself that you are in charge - that you decide what your legs will do and even though breathing is not always at it's best, you pray for deep breaths and little anxiety and you prepare. You eat the right thing and you drink the right amount of water and you give yourself an out by saying that if you need to walk, you can walk. And then it's just you, on the road, running first your three mile loop (easy) and then your four mile loop (harder, but done). So you've run 7 and now 2 doesn't seem bad at all. So you keep going. Your app tells you that you've hit 8.5 and you want to stop, but you don't - partly because you want Sonja Richards Ross to congratulate you and partly because at this point half a mile is a cake walk. And you complete it. You thank Tegan and Sara for their distracting new album and you tell yourself that now you know you can do it because you ran 9. And after 9 you would only have to do an easy three mile and then a one mile and then .1 and you can hardly believe it.
Despite the fact that in the last few months, you have dealt with sore muscles, breathing struggles, black outs, inclement weather (including rain, sleet, and below freezing temperatures), negativity, and that pesky voice in your head asking you what in the world you are doing, you are somehow proud... and glad. And now you feel like a runner. The next four weeks of training fly by in a blur as you have taken even further steps to be prepared. You quit drinking Dr. Pepper and you realize you are sleeping better than usual. You feel great - maybe better than you have ever felt. And on race day, you have a blast - more on race day later. It was an incredible experience!

So you would think that after that (and maybe a week or so of rest), you would keep it up - at least so that three miles can still be considered easy. But summer happens and it's hot. And there's not an end goal and you have a million excuses, but really it's mostly laziness. So maybe it didn't work for you. Maybe you're not a runner afterall, even though you have a sticker on your car proudly broadcasting the 13.1....
Then there's a day like today. The weather is so perfect, it feels like it would be wrong to not run. In your head you know that three miles used to be easy, but your body does not remember that time. So you barely survive two, but that's okay. A year ago, you would have said that beautiful days like today are for sitting outside and reading or laying out a blanket and napping on the grass, but today you went outside and could only think of one thing... And excited you grab your tennis shoes. Oh no. It happened. And you decide maybe, just maybe it did work for you. Maybe, just maybe you became a runner.

Days like today are meant for one thing....
I promise you if I can do it, you could too :)

new life calling

On Tuesday, my mom texted me in stress mode because she was packing for my dad's big wig business trip and she needed help. We go through this just about every time she is going to some thing la di da with my dad. So I went straight from work and explored her closet. She tried on some things and we picked out some outfits and then decided to return the new pants she had purchased (we just weren't convinced about the capri-length legging in those colors... she had gotten a greenish color and an orangey color - bold choices that I was so proud of, but just not working with anything she already owned...) Then I asked what she was planning to wear to their one nicer-ish event. She said this was one outfit she already knew she liked so she put it on. Now, my mother is beautiful - she's got amazing legs and recently has slimmed quite a bit - so this shirt that she has had for a little while and loved now had a problem. It was far too big. Always a subject you want to tread lightly on because when someone is already loving what they have on, you don't want to throw off that confidence, but I also could not let my mama wear that white tuxedo-looking shirt. It wouldn't have been right. So I told her that, even though I love the idea, the shirt just looks a little... well big... which let's be honest, is the best problem you can have. We searched her closet again and found another top that would work, but I could tell she wasn't loving it... Then she asked if we should go shopping. I mean I am definitely not one to turn that down so with exactly 18 minutes until I had to be at Bible study, I ran frantically around Chicos with my mother. Chicos would not always be my first choice (it tends to be a little older looking, and just not my mom's style), but the tuxedo shirt she had loved so much came from there so we went in search of the exact same thing, just a couple of sizes smaller. Well, they didn't have it. And we needed something. Now.

Challenge Extended.

I proceeded to run through racks in the store and found two or three options, one of which I already knew was my favorite - a beautiful red shirt with a pretty neckline and not too much cling. Something I would love to borrow (which I knew would be a selling point). She tried it on and it was love at first sight and did I mention it was RED?! Major progress for a woman who consistently drifts toward the neutral side. So, she bought it! (and the crowds went wild!)
Then with my time up and my mission accomplished, I flew out the door and down the street for Bible study. On the drive I realized that the fashion panic moments are my fave. There should be a TV show about that or something. It's the last minute, I have to have something that works now, and I want to love it attitude that fuels my fire. With people I know, I love to find things that work for them - something a little bit out there, but still very them. Usually I can find it in their closet (when it's your own clothes, it's easy to forget the potential there). But I don't mind shopping for something new at all :)
So I now think this is my new life calling... I will be the go-to for fashion emergencies... And designing the business card now...

Here's the shirt my mom bought (on a model - maybe I can talk my mom into doing a photo shoot for my blog) - oh and everything in the store that day was 40% off! It was like the stars aligned for us :) :)

Click here to see for yourself!

weekend of labor

This weekend (specifically yesterday) I had to make a pretty big decision. For those of you who know me, you probably gritted your teeth at that thought. I struggle with decisions - well I guess I should say I struggle with some decisions. Sometimes I can answer immediately - for example, yes, I will always want mustard on my hotdog and no I do not want to dive with sharks or swim across the Atlantic - easy. decision made. However, this was one of those life changing, feels like I am paralyzed, how am I ever supposed to know what I am supposed to do, what is the meaning of life type of decisions and so, I panicked. Completely and utterly and ugly cried for about two hours as my precious family tried to console me.

Fact: no one can make this decision except for you. oh greeeeaaaaaattttttt.

Fact: either way you are going to be okay. ya right. this one is definitely going to kill me.

Fact: God will never leave you or forsake you. I am pretty sure I believe that but it doesn't feel like it.

Katie: ugly cry, ugly cry, ugly cry

It's like I just wanted someone to tell me that I no longer had the choice, but instead I had to do whatever they told me. When both decisions sound okay, that is logical right? Just someone tell me what to do!!!! I tried to get my mom or dad to do that, but they refused, not because they didn't want to necessarily (but I do believe you didn't want to, right Mama?) But more because they believe in me. They believes that I am capable and that, more than I give myself credit for, I can make decisions. I have been practicing for years. I would have gladly allowed this sister to decide for me. She is wise and knows me well. But she didn't want to either - because she has made it almost all the way through her twenties and lived well and sees the value in these moments - in learning about yourself and knowing yourself and growing into yourself. I would have even let my baby sister choose for me, but she, too, could see the development happening inside of me and as my biggest fan, was confident that I could do it.

I, however, couldn't see what they saw. I couldn't see the ability. I could only see the problem. 

But honestly, these are the people we need around when the world gets blurry, when we can't seem to see straight and things are too overwhelming. Sometimes you just need people who will let you ugly cry and not judge you for making decisions hard. And they will even sympathize with you and agree that this one really is a hard decision and they may not envy you, but they believe in you and they believe in your God who will not forsake you and they believe in the Holy Spirit inside of you who will guide you. Because the world is super overwhelming. And sometimes we don't know what we're doing or where we're going. Toward the end of the conversation, my oldest sister asked if she could pray for me. (To quote some great friends, "Has it come to this?!") I wish I could tell you that prayer was my first instinct, but this time I thought I could do it - silly me. No. I couldn't. I needed the Lord. I need the Lord. So Abby prayed and then I realized that more than anything I need to pray - daily - no, more like moment by moment. I need to pray. I need to be in communication with the God who created me and who gives peace. I went later to a coffee shop and was reminded of this scripture:

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid... John 14

Peace. He gives peace. I am sure of it. And now the decision is all over with. And the world didn't end. He sustains me and He guides me. Thank goodness I am not just left up to myself.

Come thou fount of every blessing. Tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it. Mount of thy unchanging love.

sisters make everything better

Today I became completely aware of how much I was craving Fall. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Summer. I am a Texas girl through and through so late Winter and into Spring, I start counting down the days until I will get in my car and it be so hot, I immediately have goosebumps and can barely breathe. You may think I'm kidding, but I honestly love it. I love how freezing the AC gets and I love walking outside to let the sunshine heat my skin. I love swimming and laying out and reading. I love how long Summer days are and I love cooking out. Oh and my birthday and the 4th of July fall in the summertime. It's just an all around great time of year. The clock slows down and there is much less hustle and bustle. However, when school starts and August becomes almost unbearably hot, I start to dream of scarves and boots and pumpkin spice lattes and today was one of those days. I feel like I have really lived it up this Summer - Rangers games and fireworks, and a couple of trips to the beach, but today I realized I'm over it and so ready for the season to change. I'm ready for football and cold wind and snuggling in on my sister's couch with a hot cup of coffee. I crave the day that I will be engulfed in one of her large chairs, surrounded by reds, oranges and rich browns that just heighten the beauty of her already gorgeous house. Growing up we used to use the term "homesick" to help us define what we were feeling so if we missed home, obviously we were homesick, but if we just missed Mama, then we were "Mama-sick" and if we missed Christmas, we were "Christmas-sick" - you get the idea. So today, I am Fall-sick. On the way to work, I came to this realization, after leaving my sister's house where I had all of the perks of Fall, without the cool weather outside, which honestly means I may as well have had none of it. And I heard on the radio that tomorrow the temperatures will be back up into the hundreds. *sigh* looks like I wont be seeing the weather I am so desiring just yet, but as I sat at my sister's this morning, I was sure it was coming. I could almost taste the pumpkin bread and smell the cinnamon. Fall is coming. It is. It is. It is.
Until it does, I am hiding my scarves and boots from myself because I may just throw them on thinking I can handle it and then die from heat exhaustion. My sister's idea was to go through my closet and find my favorite Summer clothes - the ones I really miss during the Winter and can't wait to get out again as soon as the temperature hits 75. And only wear those this week. Now that is what I call good advice. So here's to the end of Summer and Fall on the horizon and sisters that provide a safe space during all months of the year.

i think i can. i think i can.

Can we stop for a second and discuss the fact that there are doughnuts in the break room? Doughnuts. DOUGHNUTS. They have been sitting there all morning and it's Monday and it's the first day of school and I forgot my lunch in the fridge at home and I really want one. And even though I keep telling myself that I don't need a doughnut. "It's just empty calories (and a lot at that). The sugar would not be good for me. I'll probably be hungry again in an hour. The sugar high would not be a great combo with the caffeine wave I am already riding. Etc. Etc." Despite all of the reasons, they are calling my name (almost audibly), as if they know me or can sense my ever growing want. They're not even the kind of doughnut that I prefer. (I mean once you have a blueberry cake doughnut, the rest pale in comparison). But still, I want. However, I am reciting to myself all of the reasons I should make the healthy choice and whispering "I think I can! I think I can!" every time I walk past the break room. Sure my coworkers are starting to question my sanity, but I am sure I will thank myself later... Or because I was so good this time, next time there are doughnuts in the break room, I'll be having one. Life is too short to go completely doughnutless.

In other news...
Did everyone remember that today is...
Meet-Someone-New Monday

For today, however, we will not be meeting someone, but more of a something... I am all about trying new things. I mean that within reason. I am probably not going to be the first one out of the plane, but if a group of people wanted to go sky diving, I wouldn't be a "no" right off the bat. I have one friend who is always up for crazy. She is completely nuts, but we absolutely love her this way and would never ask her to change. This friend adds a whole new level to life and even though sometimes her ideas are nuts, most of the time, she has enough energy and passion to get others on board. And I love that about her. Sarah has picked up a new hobby this summer and she has been begging me to come to the lake with her, but I couldn't make it happen until this past Friday. I knew she would jump at the chance to go paddle boarding because she's a member and she loves to take people for their first time. So Sarah, her sister, and I met right by the lake just after dusk. I am telling you I thought this was going to be super tricky. I figured I would spend 90% of my time frustrated or in the water or under the board or just laying on the board holding on for dear life, but it. was. awesome. Now just to clear up some common misconceptions, paddle boarding is not the boat that you sit in and pedal, Mama. Paddle boarding is where you stand on the surf board and use an oar to get around (think canoe). So we got to the lake, paid the rental fee, and were given a headlamp and a glow stick - The state of Texas deems a paddle board a boat so you have to have a light in front and back. Then we set out. And yall I was immediately a fan. We paddled around for awhile and then got our boards together, laid the paddles across them to make a raft type thing and enjoyed a firework show. I am not sure if I have expressed my love of fireworks, but they are my most favorite thing in the whole world. I love fireworks. My favorite holiday is the fourth of July and I prefer to go to Rangers games on Fridays; there is just something about them. *sigh* They never get old. So we watched fireworks and then paddled around a bit more. I was loving it and it was actually really easy...
....until I decided to show off my mad skills by jumping around on my board and simultaneously throwing myself completely off balance. I totally fell in and was laughing so hard I got water up my nose and down my throat. hahaha. Even now I am still laughing about it. I was flailing with the best of them.Once I caught my breath, I was back on the board and paddling as if nothing had happened. Except that every so often Sarah or Joy or I would giggle again. Such a fun way to spend a Friday night.

So in case you are thinking this is what you want to do for labor day, here's what you need to know: We went to Grapevine Lake, where they do fireworks every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day (so this weekend is your last chance to see them!). It costs $20 to rent everything, plus $10 if you need a lesson. If you go at night and you want to get a board that lights up, that is an extra $10 (and it's cool, but not necessary - we went with just the regular board...)

To sum up, GO TRY THIS!
And also go eat a doughnut for me : )

goal setting and the quarter life crisis

I read this post in Relevant Magazine the other day and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I don't typically read this magazine, but someone posted a link on facebook and in a moment of weakness, when I was wasting my life on the internet, I clicked on it. But it turns out, that article wasn't a waste of time at all. About every 6-8 weeks, I hit a... well it's a... let's just call it a moment in my quarter life crisis. Suddenly everything in my life is off track and nothing good will ever happen and I have only had bad hair days and I will never really accomplish my goals (mostly because I can't decide what my goals are) and there are too many everythings (books to read, places to see, food to eat, people to know, jobs to try, etc) and I just cant.
I
just
cant.
It's a bummer really because it will hit me out of nowhere and only afterward I remember that it had been a couple of months since the last breakdown and really I was due anyway so hopefully it'll be 8 weeks til the next one. But, unfortunately, in the midst of the freak out, I can't see straight and everything falls apart for a minute. And I get frustrated. I am not a ball dropper and yet suddenly the circus has come to a screaming halt because my juggling act has completely failed.The questions are typically in the same line of:
What am I doing with my life? Should there be something more? Am I missing my "moment"?
And even though I have encountered these questions a thousand times, the answers are still daunting:
I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW.
And perhaps the not knowing is the scariest part of all. The thing about the quarter life crisis is that it's not talked about, really. It's joked about. It's possibly mentioned as an explanation for what's wrong with someone but it's never truly addressed and it is as real as gum under a school desk. And without fail you'll be the one to stick your hand in the pink, germ-filled adhesion and then have no clue what to do with yourself because no one else seems to be sticking their fingers in gum.
Except me. Every eight weeks or so I stick my hand in a big wad of bubblicious bubble gum and then I panic. So in an effort to avoid embracing this fact of life and instead try to patch it up, I have been goal-setting. (It's one of those recommended remedies. blah blah blah) My roommates and I try to do weekly goals. They are little things like keep your room clean for the week or read a certain amount or eat breakfast everyday, but still at the end of the week, we feel accomplished because we did something we set out to do. These are great and helpful, but honestly it is the larger goals that make me feel like I'm trapped inside of myself.
One of the premises of starting this blog was to ask myself "Am I _______ (working here, living here, {not} travelling there) because I want to? Or because I haven't been brave?" And honestly 90% of the time, I am not sure of the answer to that question either. Is it because I haven't been brave? Ugh. Is it?
Wow this blog took a depressing turn as I settle into that question, but the good news is that the Lord won't ever let me just leave it there. You see, He put something deep, deep inside of me that will never be settled just leaving it there. So I get to that question and then I evaluate and then I remind myself of all of the ways that I have been brave and I remind myself that twenty-something is a difficult age to be and that only at the end of myself can I fully see and experience hope. Because there is hope and there is time and there is today. And today I am here - smack dab in the middle of where I am supposed to be. It's scary and sometimes I can't see the end, but it is what it is. So as I near the end of yet another panicked quarter life crisis moment (and pray against the next one), I am sending out a {hopefully} hopeful message.
You others who are sticking your free fingers in gum every so often, you are not alone. And when you feel it, give me a call. I am becoming a perpetual gum finder :) but still working every day to remember how to unstick it.
Also, if any of you have suggestions, they will be greatly appreciated and considered for immediate implementation. Thank you in advance :)