so you think to yourself...

if I run a half marathon, then I will be a runner.
So you train
from January til April, increasing mileage weekly but never looking ahead to what the next week might hold. On Sunday of week 4, you know that if you run 5 miles, you will call it a miracle, but you can't possibly think ahead to the coming weeks when you will run 7, then someday 9 - all leading up to the big day, when you will run more than double that measly little run of week 4. Week 4 is tough. Many of your longer run days feel like make it or break it days, but for some reason week 4 is a deciding factor. But you make it through and you settle into your "easy" three mile run on the first day of week 5 trying not to acknowledge that there is no turning back now. And you are scarily aware that three miles has become an easy run. In these moments pride mixes with anxiety and knowing that you will burst if you linger for one moment longer on the truth that there are many, many more miles to come, you concentrate instead on each step. Just one foot in front of the other. Simple. Methodic. Rhythmic. And pace after pace your stress eases.

Then suddenly its 9 mile day. You are painfully aware that you have not completed all of the miles you should have logged by now, but you remind yourself that you are in charge - that you decide what your legs will do and even though breathing is not always at it's best, you pray for deep breaths and little anxiety and you prepare. You eat the right thing and you drink the right amount of water and you give yourself an out by saying that if you need to walk, you can walk. And then it's just you, on the road, running first your three mile loop (easy) and then your four mile loop (harder, but done). So you've run 7 and now 2 doesn't seem bad at all. So you keep going. Your app tells you that you've hit 8.5 and you want to stop, but you don't - partly because you want Sonja Richards Ross to congratulate you and partly because at this point half a mile is a cake walk. And you complete it. You thank Tegan and Sara for their distracting new album and you tell yourself that now you know you can do it because you ran 9. And after 9 you would only have to do an easy three mile and then a one mile and then .1 and you can hardly believe it.
Despite the fact that in the last few months, you have dealt with sore muscles, breathing struggles, black outs, inclement weather (including rain, sleet, and below freezing temperatures), negativity, and that pesky voice in your head asking you what in the world you are doing, you are somehow proud... and glad. And now you feel like a runner. The next four weeks of training fly by in a blur as you have taken even further steps to be prepared. You quit drinking Dr. Pepper and you realize you are sleeping better than usual. You feel great - maybe better than you have ever felt. And on race day, you have a blast - more on race day later. It was an incredible experience!

So you would think that after that (and maybe a week or so of rest), you would keep it up - at least so that three miles can still be considered easy. But summer happens and it's hot. And there's not an end goal and you have a million excuses, but really it's mostly laziness. So maybe it didn't work for you. Maybe you're not a runner afterall, even though you have a sticker on your car proudly broadcasting the 13.1....
Then there's a day like today. The weather is so perfect, it feels like it would be wrong to not run. In your head you know that three miles used to be easy, but your body does not remember that time. So you barely survive two, but that's okay. A year ago, you would have said that beautiful days like today are for sitting outside and reading or laying out a blanket and napping on the grass, but today you went outside and could only think of one thing... And excited you grab your tennis shoes. Oh no. It happened. And you decide maybe, just maybe it did work for you. Maybe, just maybe you became a runner.

Days like today are meant for one thing....
I promise you if I can do it, you could too :)