making a list.. checking it twice...

wait that's the wrong holiday...
maybe what I mean to say is... is... are there Halloween songs? I feel like there should be but now I can't think of any... hmmm. well anyway.
I made a list last week on the blog and have had a fun and enlightening week of checking it off. (Literally I kept forgetting what was on the list so I checked it way more than twice...) And this blog post will complete it. I had fun completing all of the things, but I also realized some things along the way... The always funny thing about me is that I think I can fix me. I think that making a list or a change, getting my hair cut or my nails done, drinking more coffee or having a glass of wine, might change me, but I was / am / foreverwillbe mistaken. If I think that it is possible to add value or purpose to my life by making a small list, I've lost track of what I really need. This week was a completely broken and sweet reminder of that. I cannot change simply by adding things to my To Do list. I need a heart change. And that doesn't come from me. I used to wish it was that easy - that I could just do a couple of quick things and I'd be fine, but I know that if I could change myself - if something I did could add value to me, I would lose sight of something so much more important. And that is the fact that there is someone much more powerful than me, who created me, who loves me, and He alone not only says I am valuable, but he makes me valuable (when let's face it, I am the ultimate suck *Thank you 8th grade Bible study for that lesson*). And even though I don't always understand those things and I don't always feel like they are true, I know in the deepest parts of who I am that they most definitely are true. The Creator of the Universe called me and He can see better than anyone else how much of a mess I am and still he covers it - not because he doesn't know it's there, but because he loves me and knows that I could never be enough. Only Jesus is enough. And that reminder was so painful to get to this week, but I know it is true and I will make the effort to be faithful in the small things and try to trust that He is at work in me. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.

The cool part about a list like this is that, even though there were meltdown moments this week, there were also some really fun moments. Even though a list like this doesn't fix my circumstance or heart, most of these items caused me to slow down and take a deep breath and evaluate and enjoy life - and that was the point. So, make your own list and bravely check things off. Force yourself to take a step outside of yourself and actually see the world around you. I don't think you'll regret it...
I don't have pictures of everything on the list, but I did manage to snag a few:

Here is a picture of Scarecrow Treats. Got this recipe from here - It's Mix and Match Mama :) I have referenced Shay's blog before and truly she has become my go to for fun and simple treats. I did burn my finger on this one, but it healed nicely and I know these were a hit at my sister's Halloween party tonight :) I also made these Sweet and Salty Oreos (not pictured which is unfortunate because they turned out so pretty!) and they were super easy!!!

Here are a couple from the Dallas Arboretum. I am seriously considering becoming a member! It was so wonderful - despite the ridiculous traffic on 635 that made me want to die. Luckily I was in good company and we had wine with us so as soon as we found a spot to "set up camp" we opened a bottle of wine and it was smooth sailing from there!

LOOK AT THESE COLORS!!!! (photo cred to Deb :)

This is my current background on my work computer, which just makes me happy :)

Pumpkin carving was an adventure too... I tend to be a little ambitious when it comes to pumpkin carving... but I usually have a stencil. This time not so much. I just drew it on the pumpkin and started carving. There were panic moments along the way, but overall we were so pleased with all of the pumpkins!

Then last night I had a relaxing hour or so to walk around the children's department of Barnes and Noble. I love that place. It is happy :) The first book I read, I just fell in love with...
Here it is pictured... It's called "The I'm Not Scared Book." I figured I would like it just based on the title alone. And it did not disappoint.
The last page was my favorite:
Sometimes we are scared of things because we don't understand them.
When you are afraid, tell someone why and maybe you won't be scared anymore. The End. Love, Todd
How true and such a good reminder, especially for me :)


And then I got to end my evening with a cup of decaf pumpkin spice - it was glorious, as Ali would say. I want to be clear that even though this list was great and honestly fun to complete, it is not what fulfills me. The list does not complete any part of me and there were still rough moments of this week, as I imagine there always will be... But I am so glad I did it. Sometimes it is so nice to take a step back and re-evaluate and do things that you know are good for you. Like drink coffee and read children's books. Simple. Precious. Life.

PS