sample girls

Today is a very special day. Not only are we still celebrating 21 Days of Thanksgiving but it is also Monday, which means it's...

Meet-Someone-New Monday

Don't worry, I have a great plan to combine the two. Tonight I was blessed to spend a wonderful evening with two incredible friends. You know how every once in awhile friends just click? Like Bert and Ernie or Robin and Lily or Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston? It's just meant to be. Well these two girls would fall into that category. They have known each other since before their awkward stages and endured the absurdity of middle school together (how any of us survive that trauma is beyond me). They have gone through rocky phases where they didn't know if they would remain friends or even be acquaintances and now they are rooming together in a quaint little apartment in Dallas. They have hard moments, but they understand each other. They laughed hysterically tonight as they told stories of the things that go on in their apartment - little quirks that they both have and how hilarious they think each other are. They have been through a lot. And somehow, through the grace of a loving Father, they ended up in the same city and sharing the same space. And they know that it is a blessing. At different times tonight, they each expressed how much they love that they get to live together and I was filled with a sweet kind of comfort as I listened to two girls, who are younger than me, share what they think about this bizarre stage of life we are all in. They are wise. They battle the world together and consistently remind each other who they really are and that work does not and will not define them. They are defined by so much more. I'll let you meet them separately: one here and the other here but if you ever get the chance to hang out with them together, you should. You can probably find them at Central Market, where they have become known as the sample girls, or at Starbucks, drinking coffee as they discuss matters of the heart. These girls are such a blessing to me and to each other. I am so glad I know them and even more glad that they are only a short drive away. I am thankful we were able to sit down and talk and laugh and express fear and anxiety and share wisdom and laugh and talk and laugh some more. So so very thankful. Actually thankful doesn't even begin to cover it...

Thweet, Wheels and Yougs together again. Love you ladies, more than you know :)

Twenty-one Days of Thanksgiving

Starting today there are 21 days until Thanksgiving! TWENTY ONE DAYS?! That just doesn't seem possible. Maybe it's because September and October have sort of turned into a blur. As I was sitting at my house last Sunday afternoon by myself watching Meet Me In St. Louis, which happens to be one of my favorites, I was filled with gratitude toward a month that celebrates Thanksgiving. I couldn't express how important giving thanks is and I am glad about that. I want to be a person who looks for gifts and finds a something to be thankful for around every turn. There is much to be thankful for and if I spent the rest of my life naming things, I don't think I could get them all. Some days it is easy to forget to look for things to be thankful for. We are creatures of habit and somehow it is so easy to adopt an attitude of bitterness or discontent, but I read a book one time (that I have referenced before here) about giving thanks and the life-changing impact it had on this author. I keep coming back to it in my life and I think she might be on to something. I have gone back and re-read my blogs from September and October and although there were good times and moments in those rapid months, there was also a lot of unrest and discontentment. Well today I am declaring war on that tendency in me to be frustrated and unsettled and the only way I know how to do that is to continue to give thanks, even for the little things and even in tough situations.

The most important part of thanksgiving is that it gives the credit somewhere else. So it stops being about how great I am or how incredible is this life, that I mistakenly believe, I have created for myself. No. Thanksgiving says "How great You are. And how incredible this life You have given to me." Thanksgiving recognizes the gift and the giver and we need to practice it. Because this life is not a story about me. And the more I can pound that into my ridiculously stubborn and selfish brain, the better off I'll be.

I am going to attempt something pretty bold. I read a blog yesterday by a pretty incredible woman named Ashley. Throughout the month of October, she blogged about peace. Some of the blogs were pretty heartfelt and others were just a quick snapshot. Using her as inspiration, I plan to spend the next 21 days blogging about thankfulness - what I'm learning about it, how simple or complex it can be, how my heart feels, how gratitude can affect even the smallest of moments, and how difficult it all is. I don't expect it to be easy, but I do think it will be good. So, come along with me on a journey to developing a thankful heart. I can't think of many better way to invest my time.

Photo Credit

making a list.. checking it twice...

wait that's the wrong holiday...
maybe what I mean to say is... is... are there Halloween songs? I feel like there should be but now I can't think of any... hmmm. well anyway.
I made a list last week on the blog and have had a fun and enlightening week of checking it off. (Literally I kept forgetting what was on the list so I checked it way more than twice...) And this blog post will complete it. I had fun completing all of the things, but I also realized some things along the way... The always funny thing about me is that I think I can fix me. I think that making a list or a change, getting my hair cut or my nails done, drinking more coffee or having a glass of wine, might change me, but I was / am / foreverwillbe mistaken. If I think that it is possible to add value or purpose to my life by making a small list, I've lost track of what I really need. This week was a completely broken and sweet reminder of that. I cannot change simply by adding things to my To Do list. I need a heart change. And that doesn't come from me. I used to wish it was that easy - that I could just do a couple of quick things and I'd be fine, but I know that if I could change myself - if something I did could add value to me, I would lose sight of something so much more important. And that is the fact that there is someone much more powerful than me, who created me, who loves me, and He alone not only says I am valuable, but he makes me valuable (when let's face it, I am the ultimate suck *Thank you 8th grade Bible study for that lesson*). And even though I don't always understand those things and I don't always feel like they are true, I know in the deepest parts of who I am that they most definitely are true. The Creator of the Universe called me and He can see better than anyone else how much of a mess I am and still he covers it - not because he doesn't know it's there, but because he loves me and knows that I could never be enough. Only Jesus is enough. And that reminder was so painful to get to this week, but I know it is true and I will make the effort to be faithful in the small things and try to trust that He is at work in me. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.

The cool part about a list like this is that, even though there were meltdown moments this week, there were also some really fun moments. Even though a list like this doesn't fix my circumstance or heart, most of these items caused me to slow down and take a deep breath and evaluate and enjoy life - and that was the point. So, make your own list and bravely check things off. Force yourself to take a step outside of yourself and actually see the world around you. I don't think you'll regret it...
I don't have pictures of everything on the list, but I did manage to snag a few:

Here is a picture of Scarecrow Treats. Got this recipe from here - It's Mix and Match Mama :) I have referenced Shay's blog before and truly she has become my go to for fun and simple treats. I did burn my finger on this one, but it healed nicely and I know these were a hit at my sister's Halloween party tonight :) I also made these Sweet and Salty Oreos (not pictured which is unfortunate because they turned out so pretty!) and they were super easy!!!

Here are a couple from the Dallas Arboretum. I am seriously considering becoming a member! It was so wonderful - despite the ridiculous traffic on 635 that made me want to die. Luckily I was in good company and we had wine with us so as soon as we found a spot to "set up camp" we opened a bottle of wine and it was smooth sailing from there!

LOOK AT THESE COLORS!!!! (photo cred to Deb :)

This is my current background on my work computer, which just makes me happy :)

Pumpkin carving was an adventure too... I tend to be a little ambitious when it comes to pumpkin carving... but I usually have a stencil. This time not so much. I just drew it on the pumpkin and started carving. There were panic moments along the way, but overall we were so pleased with all of the pumpkins!

Then last night I had a relaxing hour or so to walk around the children's department of Barnes and Noble. I love that place. It is happy :) The first book I read, I just fell in love with...
Here it is pictured... It's called "The I'm Not Scared Book." I figured I would like it just based on the title alone. And it did not disappoint.
The last page was my favorite:
Sometimes we are scared of things because we don't understand them.
When you are afraid, tell someone why and maybe you won't be scared anymore. The End. Love, Todd
How true and such a good reminder, especially for me :)


And then I got to end my evening with a cup of decaf pumpkin spice - it was glorious, as Ali would say. I want to be clear that even though this list was great and honestly fun to complete, it is not what fulfills me. The list does not complete any part of me and there were still rough moments of this week, as I imagine there always will be... But I am so glad I did it. Sometimes it is so nice to take a step back and re-evaluate and do things that you know are good for you. Like drink coffee and read children's books. Simple. Precious. Life.

PS

the longest month of my life

I was thinking yesterday that this has got to be the longest month ever! October seems to be neverending, which normally would be okay with me. I love fall weather and pumpkin everything. But for some reason this year I am having a hard time getting into the fall spirit. Maybe it's because the pumpkin spice latte came out in August this year (curse you, Starbucks!) :( :( :( okay I take it back. I know better than that. Never, ever curse Starbucks... But seriously something weird is happening this October and it seems to be the month that goes on and on and on and on and on and on... Today I woke up and much to my despair realized there is still A WHOLE NOTHER week left in this blessed month. I started out being super frustrated with this discovery, but realize there's nothing I can do about it so the only other option was to figure out a way to enjoy it. And I want to really enjoy it because I know myself and about the time it's over, I am going to be wishing for October again. Oh my restless heart. 

So since I want to really live it up this October, I am making an "end of October bucket list" You may recall my recent victories with short term goals. Well, this will be similar to short term goal setting, but better :) I am so excited to present to you my last week bucket list. 

Katie's Plan to Celebrate October

1. Make fun Halloween Treats

2. Drink a pumpkin spice latte in a "for here" mug

3. Go to the Arboretum

4. Make butternut squash soup

5. Be outside for a consecutive 15 minutes (at least) everyday

6. Watch You've Got Mail (most likely with Keila)

7. Carve a pumpkin

8. Watch Football
9. Write 2 blog posts

10. Enjoy pre-daylight savings time with a glass of wine on a patio.
11. Spend some time in the children's book section of Barnes and Noble.

So next week, I will update you on my progress with this list as I celebrate the last week of this ridiculously long month. Don't forget to celebrate the end of October this year! Chances are, you will be a completely new person by the time it comes around again :)



weekend of labor

This weekend (specifically yesterday) I had to make a pretty big decision. For those of you who know me, you probably gritted your teeth at that thought. I struggle with decisions - well I guess I should say I struggle with some decisions. Sometimes I can answer immediately - for example, yes, I will always want mustard on my hotdog and no I do not want to dive with sharks or swim across the Atlantic - easy. decision made. However, this was one of those life changing, feels like I am paralyzed, how am I ever supposed to know what I am supposed to do, what is the meaning of life type of decisions and so, I panicked. Completely and utterly and ugly cried for about two hours as my precious family tried to console me.

Fact: no one can make this decision except for you. oh greeeeaaaaaattttttt.

Fact: either way you are going to be okay. ya right. this one is definitely going to kill me.

Fact: God will never leave you or forsake you. I am pretty sure I believe that but it doesn't feel like it.

Katie: ugly cry, ugly cry, ugly cry

It's like I just wanted someone to tell me that I no longer had the choice, but instead I had to do whatever they told me. When both decisions sound okay, that is logical right? Just someone tell me what to do!!!! I tried to get my mom or dad to do that, but they refused, not because they didn't want to necessarily (but I do believe you didn't want to, right Mama?) But more because they believe in me. They believes that I am capable and that, more than I give myself credit for, I can make decisions. I have been practicing for years. I would have gladly allowed this sister to decide for me. She is wise and knows me well. But she didn't want to either - because she has made it almost all the way through her twenties and lived well and sees the value in these moments - in learning about yourself and knowing yourself and growing into yourself. I would have even let my baby sister choose for me, but she, too, could see the development happening inside of me and as my biggest fan, was confident that I could do it.

I, however, couldn't see what they saw. I couldn't see the ability. I could only see the problem. 

But honestly, these are the people we need around when the world gets blurry, when we can't seem to see straight and things are too overwhelming. Sometimes you just need people who will let you ugly cry and not judge you for making decisions hard. And they will even sympathize with you and agree that this one really is a hard decision and they may not envy you, but they believe in you and they believe in your God who will not forsake you and they believe in the Holy Spirit inside of you who will guide you. Because the world is super overwhelming. And sometimes we don't know what we're doing or where we're going. Toward the end of the conversation, my oldest sister asked if she could pray for me. (To quote some great friends, "Has it come to this?!") I wish I could tell you that prayer was my first instinct, but this time I thought I could do it - silly me. No. I couldn't. I needed the Lord. I need the Lord. So Abby prayed and then I realized that more than anything I need to pray - daily - no, more like moment by moment. I need to pray. I need to be in communication with the God who created me and who gives peace. I went later to a coffee shop and was reminded of this scripture:

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid... John 14

Peace. He gives peace. I am sure of it. And now the decision is all over with. And the world didn't end. He sustains me and He guides me. Thank goodness I am not just left up to myself.

Come thou fount of every blessing. Tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it. Mount of thy unchanging love.

sisters make everything better

Today I became completely aware of how much I was craving Fall. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Summer. I am a Texas girl through and through so late Winter and into Spring, I start counting down the days until I will get in my car and it be so hot, I immediately have goosebumps and can barely breathe. You may think I'm kidding, but I honestly love it. I love how freezing the AC gets and I love walking outside to let the sunshine heat my skin. I love swimming and laying out and reading. I love how long Summer days are and I love cooking out. Oh and my birthday and the 4th of July fall in the summertime. It's just an all around great time of year. The clock slows down and there is much less hustle and bustle. However, when school starts and August becomes almost unbearably hot, I start to dream of scarves and boots and pumpkin spice lattes and today was one of those days. I feel like I have really lived it up this Summer - Rangers games and fireworks, and a couple of trips to the beach, but today I realized I'm over it and so ready for the season to change. I'm ready for football and cold wind and snuggling in on my sister's couch with a hot cup of coffee. I crave the day that I will be engulfed in one of her large chairs, surrounded by reds, oranges and rich browns that just heighten the beauty of her already gorgeous house. Growing up we used to use the term "homesick" to help us define what we were feeling so if we missed home, obviously we were homesick, but if we just missed Mama, then we were "Mama-sick" and if we missed Christmas, we were "Christmas-sick" - you get the idea. So today, I am Fall-sick. On the way to work, I came to this realization, after leaving my sister's house where I had all of the perks of Fall, without the cool weather outside, which honestly means I may as well have had none of it. And I heard on the radio that tomorrow the temperatures will be back up into the hundreds. *sigh* looks like I wont be seeing the weather I am so desiring just yet, but as I sat at my sister's this morning, I was sure it was coming. I could almost taste the pumpkin bread and smell the cinnamon. Fall is coming. It is. It is. It is.
Until it does, I am hiding my scarves and boots from myself because I may just throw them on thinking I can handle it and then die from heat exhaustion. My sister's idea was to go through my closet and find my favorite Summer clothes - the ones I really miss during the Winter and can't wait to get out again as soon as the temperature hits 75. And only wear those this week. Now that is what I call good advice. So here's to the end of Summer and Fall on the horizon and sisters that provide a safe space during all months of the year.

an Irish state of mind

After you go on a big trip, the initial reactions are pretty much the same:
Oh my gosh! You're back! How was it?
What was your favorite thing?
Are you going to become (insert nationality of place you visited, in this case, Irish) now?

Now- there is absolutely nothing wrong with these questions. They came from people who genuinely care, but don't even know where to begin in asking about or understanding the experience I went through. The answers went something like this "Amazing...probably Glendalough...and yes. I could become Irish tomorrow and be happy." The battle, however, comes from trying to give an appropriate answer, based on who asked the question and how much information they want and/or have time for. The issue is that no matter how much information I gave, I could never tell it all. I could never really make them understand. And I could never satisfy my desire to give them an experience like the one I had. Because in reflecting on my adventure in Ireland, I have seen more and more how life-changing it was, how each cup of coffee and melt-in-your-mouth scone added to the overall experience, and how when God made it obvious that I should go on this trip, he did it to meet me there. Coming to that realization was refreshing and took the pressure off of inducing an experience that was sacred to me and that friends and family who stayed at home may not get to have right away. And that is okay. The incredible thing is that the Lord who created the beautiful land of Ireland, called me there to meet with me, to remind me that I am His and that He has a plan for me. I would do the whole trip again in a heartbeat, but I don't think I need to. I have not been the same since I have been back. There is a sense of being refreshed, a newness in me, that I can only attribute to the sovereign God, who spoke my name in St. Patrick's land.

I went into the trip with little expectation, knowing that (1) I would know very few members of our group, (2) I was, without a doubt, supposed to go and (3) we would be learning something about prayer, which may have been the most intimidating part going in. The purpose of the trip was to journey, through Celtic Spirituality and also through the land of Ireland. And journey we did, beginning and ending in Dublin, but seeing 8 different places in between. We rode a bus through breathtaking countryside with a bus driver, named Donald, who was as caring and compassionate as he was skilled at guiding the charter bus through little gates and down curvy, narrow roads. A woman named Kiran led our group through this pilgrimage  She is the perfect combination of no-nonsense leader and kind listener; not once did we feel less than completely taken care of by her. We met incredible Irish men and women along the way, including the current Lord Mayor of Armagh, who was gracious enough to answer our questions, give us a brief history of the city of Armagh, and let us eat lunch in her palace. We saw a glimpse of the trouble St Patrick faced, upon entering this land, as an outsider and former slave. We walked along a wall that divides a city, a wall that was intended for peace, but in reality gives a physical sign of the disunity and hate between Irish Catholics and Irish/English Protestants. We visited several cathedrals and toured the Giant's Causeway. We sat in pubs and drank beer and listened to Irish folk music and talked about life and purpose. And we landed in Dublin, the night before St Patrick's Day where the city was full of energy and green lights shone on  all of the buildings. We saw the parade and a glimpse of the craziness that Dublin became and we drank green beer before heading back to our hotel to have one last session and pack up to leave for the airport at 3 AM.

It was definitely a whirlwind and even as I look back over that list, it seems like the trip was completely crazy, but one of my favorite things about Ireland is that it didn't feel like time was flying by. We journeyed at an even and calm pace. We studied early Christianity in Ireland and talked about the redemption of a people who were barbarians before coming to know the Lord, much like us.
The first day we spent in Ireland was at Glendalough. We walked through a monastery with Father Michael, a brilliant Irish native, who would stop every so often and discuss a corner of Celtic Spirituality. He emphasized solitude and the importance of spending time in solitude before entering into community. Solitude is the place where you will learn and become who you are, which may be the longest but most important journey in your life. There are times when you will feel lost and uncertain of where you're going or where you are "supposed" to be, but the beauty in it all is that there is both redemption and salvation for that moment. Our guide emphasized that all we are asked is to be great people in our time... "and that's who the monks were... lovely people..." I wish I had his voice recorded for you (and for me to hear right now). He would tell stories and quote poetry and scripture throughout the day and he didn't use any notes or books - just himself telling us what he knows to be true. He would be mid story and wanting us so badly to be in the moment with him that he would lower the volume to almost a whisper and as if our life depended on the next word out of his mouth, our group would lean in, completely sold out to what he was saying and where his story was headed. He was completely captivating. And above everything else he focused on our paths to finding God. He talked about the steps we take to find him ourselves and how we help each other along the way. And he told us to keep our eyes open, for God can be found if we practice looking for Him. 

It's been about six weeks since I visited Ireland, but decided to start blogging about it because a friend told me to :) I am grateful, though; so thanks, Katherine. It is completely refreshing to go back and revisit a place that I completely fell in love with. My Ireland recap will have to be in several posts so hopefully this will suffice for now - the takeaways of wisdom and truth from the whole experience far out number the minutes I have to blog about it, but I never want to forget. I want to bind these things on my heart and keep them in the forefront of my mind. And I want to share them with you.
And I want to truly live... with genuine understanding and knowledge of the character of God, who pursues His children and cares enough about them to pull them out of their every day rut and speak to them.

Psalm 40:1-3a

"I waited patiently for the Lord;he inclined to me and heard my cry.2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure.3 He put a new song in my mouth,a song of praise to our God..."