Birthday Blog

Today at lunch, my oldest sister asked me to do high-lows of the last year. Because she knows and could sense my dread of this type of question (too much pressure to be profound and say the exact right thing... stupid perfectionism), she immediately followed  up the question with "These don't have to be the things - just a few highs and lows..." With the pressure removed, I just answered the first things that came to my mind... Ireland, New Years Eve Party, becoming an aunt... all highs of course. But what I noticed was that the first things that came to mind were good things. And honestly it wasn't until I was back at the office later this afternoon and really started cataloging my "for real" list that I realized it was kind of hard for me to think of negative things... Not that they are not there, because ultimately I thought of several. And to be candid here for a minute: there were some rough moments this year. But the good things so far outweigh the rough moments to the point that I had to really think about what they even were... 
I know that the Lord has blessed me with a personality that naturally sees the good in any situation, that finds joy and delight in little things, and that can overlook a bad moment and discover that most of the days are better than good. *Cue inspirational music here* 
The things is I am super blessed - by my family and friends and conversations and laughs and the little things. Some days I let myself get too cloudy to see it and in those moments I'm thankful for people on my team who care enough to fight for me... Thankfully the sunny days far surpass the fog and I am so grateful - for books, coffee mugs, sunshine, car blankets, new beginnings, pictures of the past, my mama, country music, wedges, parties, pink martinis, oreo cupcakes and the people who have made me who I am. My friend Molly texted me today to say Happy Birthday and followed it up with "I hope everyone spoils you today" I laughed, of course, when I read that, but the truth is, they did. I am super blessed and super loved and way more than once a year, I am reminded of that. But today, I thought maybe I should share it with you.
Thank you to those of you who went above and beyond to celebrate me today. You are more precious to me than you could know. 

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

little baby Katie

Hi friends! I hope you have had a great week. It has been absolutely nuts for me, but as promised, I am keeping up with my new tradition of...
Meet-Someone-New Monday

For this week's edition, I have decided to introduce you to my roommate. She was among my first friends I made in college and pretty quickly I knew we would be friends - whether it was from the late night adventures or the constant smell of vanilla coffee coming from her room, I cannot be sure. But early on, her heart and love for people was evident and I was blessed enough to be on the receiving end of it. Now over the years, she has shown some more flare and sometimes her sassy tone is so thick it cannot be measured, but beneath all of that is a loving and caring and faithful friend who will stand up and fight for you regardless of the obstacles you face. She has a gift to see another person's needs and readily experiences heartache along with those she loves. She cried with me when my last roommate got engaged and she celebrated with me when my nephew was born. Though we disagree and have definitely gone to battle on opposing teams, we can most always move on and up and continue to walk closely through life together. Throughout college we double-dated to several date functions and formals and there is no one else I would want on my side through those events. We introduced ourselves as "Hi we're Katie" We dressed up like mariachi people. We have chased the sun.

She likes outdoor music and small town festivals. She loves coffee. She could play cliff, kiss or marry until the cows come home. She bakes a mean cinnamon scone and taught me how to cook homemade pancakes. She enjoys reading and can quote most movies from beginning to end. She keeps up with celebrity drama. She is great at painting her nails. She is frugal. She would post a selfie every day if I let her (but knowingly she asks my permission). She plans ahead to eat dessert by eating less at a meal. She takes care of herself. She challenges me. She wouldn't be mad if Adam Levine showed up on her doorstep with a bouquet and ring. She lets me borrow her jewelry, her dresses, her books, her coffee mugs, her advice. She is straight laced, but she takes risks. She knows she's beautiful.
She is definitely someone worth celebrating.
So today, I want to wish my sweet roommate a very, very...
Happy Birthday, Katie Lee!

I am oh so happy and thankful to know you!

poor Monday...

Happy Monday, Friends!
Dontcha just hate it when people say that - happy Monday? Is it even possible for Mondays to be happy? Well typically I don't think so but a few weeks ago, the inanimate Monday took on a whole personality that turned rather Eeyore-like when she heard that I didn't think she could be happy... I have a problem with inanimate objects suddenly having feelings and personality. Most days it's a curse (like when poor Dorie (my car) has a bad day, or when my straightener just doesn't feel like heating up, or when I apologize to the table I just ran into), but I will tell you that it does make life a little more fun and a little less frustrating :) So awhile back, I decided that I needed Monday to have more of an identity and since I enjoy writing, I thought it should also connect to my blog. So I have decided to do a weekly post.....

And that brings me to my point that today is (drum roll, please)...

Meet-Someone-New Monday!

Each week (or whenever I decide to blog on a Monday - let's not get crazy over-promising here...) I will be spotlighting someone in my life that I think you should meet or I will be introducing you to someone (or something) I just met myself.
Today I would like for you to meet Mr. and Ms. Starbucks Barista.
Very rarely have I ever had a bad experience at Starbucks. I mean sometimes all I need is to walk into a coffee shop and suddenly whatever mess I have found myself in seems a little smaller. This morning when I woke up it was strangely dark outside and it was absolutely pouring. Obviously I was going to need something more riveting than work to get me out of bed - I know you know what I'm talking about. Some days I just need a little extra encouragement to get the day rolling - and did I mention that it's Monday??? So I told myself that if I just got up, got ready and got in the car, I could go to Starbucks on my way to work. And today, that was enough motivation. So I got up, got dressed, got in the car (with my homemade coffee in hand) and drove to Starbucks. Since I had to run an errand for work this morning, my usual Starbucks was not on my way so I resorted to visiting a new one - luckily there is caffeine waiting in a white recyclable cup on just about every corner. This Starbucks (really it's more of a kiosk) is located inside of the Tom Thumb on 3040 and Valley in Flower Mound, TX. When I walked up to the counter, I was greeted by a huge smile and two people who seemed to be morning people. Both olderish (fifties I would say?), both seemingly happy to be there, both acknowledging and completely understanding that today is Monday, both hoping to wake up their few customers with light conversation. I wonder if "Are you a morning person?" is in the list of interview questions for coffee shop staff. Just by a person's facial expression, you could tell if you're talking to the bluebird of happiness or mr. grumpy gills. Now I know there are some of you out there who think that if you met the bluebird of happiness at 8 AM on a Monday morning, you might have to cause bodily harm to the poor guy, but that was the great thing about these baristas. They were calmly content, happily chatting with each other and those of us waiting, graciously brewing and decorating with foam, and purposefully connecting with each face. As I was left, I paused to consider that maybe for them it really was a happy Monday. And perhaps the rain wasn't so bad. And maybe I should just stop and recognize that five minutes can just be five minutes or it can be a chance to bring a little light, a little laughter and a little optimism. Funny enough, I decided Monday needed a little bit of a new perspective weeks ago, long before I had met Mr. and Ms. Starbucks Barista, but as I was leaving today, I thought it the perfect way to begin Meet-Someone-New Mondays :)

So, thank you Mr. and Ms. Starbucks Barista. I appreciate all that you do.

an Irish state of mind

After you go on a big trip, the initial reactions are pretty much the same:
Oh my gosh! You're back! How was it?
What was your favorite thing?
Are you going to become (insert nationality of place you visited, in this case, Irish) now?

Now- there is absolutely nothing wrong with these questions. They came from people who genuinely care, but don't even know where to begin in asking about or understanding the experience I went through. The answers went something like this "Amazing...probably Glendalough...and yes. I could become Irish tomorrow and be happy." The battle, however, comes from trying to give an appropriate answer, based on who asked the question and how much information they want and/or have time for. The issue is that no matter how much information I gave, I could never tell it all. I could never really make them understand. And I could never satisfy my desire to give them an experience like the one I had. Because in reflecting on my adventure in Ireland, I have seen more and more how life-changing it was, how each cup of coffee and melt-in-your-mouth scone added to the overall experience, and how when God made it obvious that I should go on this trip, he did it to meet me there. Coming to that realization was refreshing and took the pressure off of inducing an experience that was sacred to me and that friends and family who stayed at home may not get to have right away. And that is okay. The incredible thing is that the Lord who created the beautiful land of Ireland, called me there to meet with me, to remind me that I am His and that He has a plan for me. I would do the whole trip again in a heartbeat, but I don't think I need to. I have not been the same since I have been back. There is a sense of being refreshed, a newness in me, that I can only attribute to the sovereign God, who spoke my name in St. Patrick's land.

I went into the trip with little expectation, knowing that (1) I would know very few members of our group, (2) I was, without a doubt, supposed to go and (3) we would be learning something about prayer, which may have been the most intimidating part going in. The purpose of the trip was to journey, through Celtic Spirituality and also through the land of Ireland. And journey we did, beginning and ending in Dublin, but seeing 8 different places in between. We rode a bus through breathtaking countryside with a bus driver, named Donald, who was as caring and compassionate as he was skilled at guiding the charter bus through little gates and down curvy, narrow roads. A woman named Kiran led our group through this pilgrimage  She is the perfect combination of no-nonsense leader and kind listener; not once did we feel less than completely taken care of by her. We met incredible Irish men and women along the way, including the current Lord Mayor of Armagh, who was gracious enough to answer our questions, give us a brief history of the city of Armagh, and let us eat lunch in her palace. We saw a glimpse of the trouble St Patrick faced, upon entering this land, as an outsider and former slave. We walked along a wall that divides a city, a wall that was intended for peace, but in reality gives a physical sign of the disunity and hate between Irish Catholics and Irish/English Protestants. We visited several cathedrals and toured the Giant's Causeway. We sat in pubs and drank beer and listened to Irish folk music and talked about life and purpose. And we landed in Dublin, the night before St Patrick's Day where the city was full of energy and green lights shone on  all of the buildings. We saw the parade and a glimpse of the craziness that Dublin became and we drank green beer before heading back to our hotel to have one last session and pack up to leave for the airport at 3 AM.

It was definitely a whirlwind and even as I look back over that list, it seems like the trip was completely crazy, but one of my favorite things about Ireland is that it didn't feel like time was flying by. We journeyed at an even and calm pace. We studied early Christianity in Ireland and talked about the redemption of a people who were barbarians before coming to know the Lord, much like us.
The first day we spent in Ireland was at Glendalough. We walked through a monastery with Father Michael, a brilliant Irish native, who would stop every so often and discuss a corner of Celtic Spirituality. He emphasized solitude and the importance of spending time in solitude before entering into community. Solitude is the place where you will learn and become who you are, which may be the longest but most important journey in your life. There are times when you will feel lost and uncertain of where you're going or where you are "supposed" to be, but the beauty in it all is that there is both redemption and salvation for that moment. Our guide emphasized that all we are asked is to be great people in our time... "and that's who the monks were... lovely people..." I wish I had his voice recorded for you (and for me to hear right now). He would tell stories and quote poetry and scripture throughout the day and he didn't use any notes or books - just himself telling us what he knows to be true. He would be mid story and wanting us so badly to be in the moment with him that he would lower the volume to almost a whisper and as if our life depended on the next word out of his mouth, our group would lean in, completely sold out to what he was saying and where his story was headed. He was completely captivating. And above everything else he focused on our paths to finding God. He talked about the steps we take to find him ourselves and how we help each other along the way. And he told us to keep our eyes open, for God can be found if we practice looking for Him. 

It's been about six weeks since I visited Ireland, but decided to start blogging about it because a friend told me to :) I am grateful, though; so thanks, Katherine. It is completely refreshing to go back and revisit a place that I completely fell in love with. My Ireland recap will have to be in several posts so hopefully this will suffice for now - the takeaways of wisdom and truth from the whole experience far out number the minutes I have to blog about it, but I never want to forget. I want to bind these things on my heart and keep them in the forefront of my mind. And I want to share them with you.
And I want to truly live... with genuine understanding and knowledge of the character of God, who pursues His children and cares enough about them to pull them out of their every day rut and speak to them.

Psalm 40:1-3a

"I waited patiently for the Lord;he inclined to me and heard my cry.2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure.3 He put a new song in my mouth,a song of praise to our God..."

clogging

Last week, my sisters and I decided to become cloggers. It's rather ambitious, really. I mean we have never taken a single clogging class, but if you ask me, it's never too late! Sometimes I want to just pick up and do something like that - clogging or learn to play the french horn or go to Europe. Especially on the days that the fluorescent lights get the best of me.... I keep reading that the cure for these momentary question marks in my life is developing a heart of thanksgiving. 
In light of that, I will be posting every so often a list of what I have been given. Today's goes like this:
1. my own office
2. a hot cup of coffee
3. a precious, light-up-your-day-with-a-smile nephew
4. a cute scarf
5. a forum to write

I do think there is value in expressing Thanksgiving. Ann Voskamp wrote the book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. She talks a lot about not missing your life, but learning to appreciate where you have been placed. I always hesitate to recommend this book to other people - Mama gave it to me awhile back and when I read the first chapter, I thought she had to be kidding. The words are flowery and kind of spacey. She writes differently than what I was used to. So I put the book down and didn't pick it up for another year. But this time, I got through the first chapter and saw the point of where she was going. Her heart and desire is to teach about Eucharisteo or the concept of being grateful.  (You can read more about this concept here.) I want to be a person who lives like that, who recognizes gifts and gives thanks. Starting this blog was part of wanting to share joy in my life, but sometimes I wonder if I would write more if I had a specific direction. But when it comes down to it, I am not sure where this blog is going or what the end goal really is with my writing. I have considered fashion, baking, life experiences or wisdom, but none of them really have stood out. I guess maybe this blog will just be a combination of all of those with Thanksgiving embedded throughout. I hope to live with a heart of thankfulness. I know that I will probably always want to pick up and go somewhere else or just take a day off to play and escape, but the reality is that you can't always just do that. So when you can't, you need a game plan. I think, for now, I will try to train mine to be gratitude. 

“...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.” - Ann Voskamp

walking

Today was a weird day. I got up and ran, which usually makes me feel better - more alive and ready for the day, but no such luck today... I went to work and felt sort of lethargic all day. I decided the cure would be homemade soup and a movie, but even that didn't do the trick. I needed out. Just a small escape - somewhere to run, walk, hide, move. I said out loud that we should go do something and my sweet roommate agreed. She immediately got up and we texted two other sweet girls who were exactly what I needed. And we walked. Just around, not really heading anywhere in particular but just walking and catching up. We laughed a lot and I could feel the shell soften... It all just has me thinking.
Maybe sometimes my head makes things too complicated. Maybe this song playing on my spotify right now is right. "I get lost in my mind" Maybe my head was just jumbled all day and I couldn't shake the weird-not-myself feeling. I was just lost, wandering around my mind. But what I needed was to wander around outside with good friends. I think I probably could have walked forever. Okay maybe not forever, but for a good while for sure.
So. Tonight I am thankful for Texas weather, songs that speak to me, legs that work, friends that listen and also talk. And I'm thankful for my jumbled up mind - it's a mess but it's mine.

joy and pain

I just about had a heart attack when I realized that I have not blogged in a over a month. But then I remembered this last piece of time and realized that there was no time to blog. I can't help but smile while remembering the holidays. So much laughter and rest and hope live there, in a month that had some tears and some pain, but mostly joy because even if pain came in the night, joy resounded in the morning. While I was not my best self every day and while there are still moments to regret and words I wish I could erase, I feel like I have grown, like 2013 really is a chance to reset and hit the refresh button. I have never been a big fan of new years resolutions. The cynical part of me used to scoff at people in December and say "well if you were wanting to make that change, why wait for Jan 1st?" And while there probably is a portion of wisdom in that (you know the whole seize the day - yolo - we're not promised tomorrow stuff), this year I was remarkably aware of the anticipation and hope of something new.

I hurt someone, who I love more than anything, deeply right before the new year began. I think that maybe this is why my mind and self were so ready for someone to hit reset and take away the hurt that I had caused. We woke up the next morning to rain pouring down and the Lord reminded me how fitting it was to wash away the old and cleanse what had been marred. I couldn't take back words that cut straight through and I never again wanted to let myself cause the destruction that unfolded. But the thing is I am (and I guess we are) just a word away, especially when it comes to people we love so much. We have to be big enough to apologize for causing hurt and hope that the other person will still see us for who we are. We have to learn to forgive ourselves, although for me this may be the hardest part of all. And we have to be willing to move on, to say that we wish we could go back and change the course of that conversation. And then we have to offer love and then choose to be thankful that we have developed a solid enough love for each other that even when I am at my absolute worst, she can move past the hurt and hold my hand and walk closely with me. I am humbled to say that she has done that and more.

The end of 2012 also brought one of the greatest joys I have ever known. My precious nephew was born on December 11, weighing in at 7lbs 10oz with one of the most precious faces I have ever seen in my life. I was certain that I would not be one of those crazy people who is obsessed with their sibling's baby, but I was wrong. I have absolutely entered into crazytown. Those of you who follow me on any social medium probably feel like you have seen more pictures than you cared to, but I just cannot help it. He is such a beautiful baby and he brought so much joy and laughter to the winter holidays. My sister has eased into the role of Mommy and is doing great. She loves that baby so much and none of us can get over her gentle ways and calm attitude, especially in the middle of the holiday craziness. Baby Blue was passed around, kissed a billion times, rocked by every aunt, great aunt, cousin and friend and he was such a good sport. He slept well and cried very little. And he made us laugh all of the time. He loves music and lights and his grandma and he recently developed a double chin :) His presence changed our holiday but so much for the better. We enjoyed sweet conversations with my sister and brother-in-law as they are navigating the unknown and we snuggled with our little man in his footy pajamas. Oh even the thought right now is warming my heart.

We had family come to visit for a couple of days and they brought noise, drinks, food, laughter, stories, and more love than I have ever been aware of. We sat and talked and cooked. We laughed from the gut, so hard we cried. We exchanged gifts and we danced and we celebrated the new year rolling in. I knew that night how incredibly lucky I am to belong to our motley crew. We are messy and loud but we love each other.
We also had several days - more than usual - with just the (now) 8 of us. We stayed in pajamas until late in the morning and explained to Baby Blue how awesome adulthood is... We watched movies and worked on a puzzle and played games and we celebrated how close knit our family is and how incredibly blessed we are. The "new" theme resonated with all of us. We were ready to say goodbye to 2012 and welcome in the fresh start that the new year carried. Hope floated around us and through us and beckoned for us to pause and be thankful. I don't know if you are a new years person or not, but either way, there is an importance and significance and hope of something new for all of us.

How deep the Father's love toward us. How vast beyond all measure.
A little late, but still worth saying, Happy New Year, everyone! :)