new little life

A new little life was brought into the world this week. Little Helena Elizabeth. She is beautiful. She already has a protective big sister and enough "aunts" to fight off anyone. She is loved. We got the phone call at midnight Tuesday night that it wouldn't be long. My family immediately mobilized the troops and handed out assignments. My mom was to take new mom to the hospital, with my dad driving (they are good at staying calm in chaos). My younger sister and I were stationed at this growing family's house spending the night with their two year old who was already down for the night. The husband was coming straight from work to meet them at the hospital and everyone else was on standby. Sister (or fishy as her older sister has lovingly called her for months), came into this world at around 8AM. She only didn't have a name for a minute which if you think about it is pretty good- I mean there is a lot of pressure that goes into that... That day, when I asked her big sister what happened (besides telling me that the pool "robot" sprayed her), she happily told me that her mom had a baby and that she became a big sister. Already the beautiful kind of pride shown in her eyes as she continued to explain to me the sounds her sister made (she was crying), the way her sister felt (she was soft), and what her sister was doing (taking a bath). She announced that it was her sister's Boofday (birthday) and continued to talk about the crying (even making the actual sound). As she spoke, I saw hints of the uncertainty we all knew would be there. In her two-year-old mind she was turning over thoughts of sharing mom and dad, sharing toys, sharing time... sharing life, not that she can conceptualize this yet, but the process has begun. It starts so young and a child can either grow bitter toward a younger sibling or grow in love for them - on their team and supporting them - or I suppose they could be indifferent. I am not a parent and cannot speak for how this is done, but can attest to the fact that it was done for me. Isn't it interesting how our automatic reaction is "Mine!"? I dont think anyone teaches a child that and yet, it is what we do. I am praying for this big sister that "Mine!" will be taken out of her vocabulary and that she will learn early on the beauty in sharing everything with this baby who could one day be her best friend: delighting over learning to ride a bike, getting frustrated over falling, crying over relationships, celebrating over a batch of cookies, coping over a pint of icecream, laughing over nail polish and magazines, whispering over coffee, weeping over failure, rejoicing over small things and loving over mistakes- possibly the girl that will stand by her on the biggest days of her life and a girl who will know her better than anyone, if they allow it. Sisters can be such a gift. What a blessing to get to watch this precious family grow...

oh life

Life is such a funny thing... constant transition. School begins in the fall and ends in the spring and even though I am not technically apart of the school system anymore, it has caused me to think: maybe that's the only normal part about life - the transition. We've been doing it since we were young but somehow it still feels unnatural. It's safer to just stay where we are, but sometimes there's a limb just a few steps away, waiting for us to take a step out. I can remember being a young girl and completely stressed out about moving from 5th grade to middle school. In my tiny head, nothing could be better than elementary school. How silly that I felt the same way leaving middle school and high school and the worst yet, leaving college. And still change is happening all around me. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it. The good news is that if you're in a rough situation or stage of life, you can rest in the fact that life is constantly changing, but if you are somewhere you love, you must tell yourself to remember that you cannot hold onto that moment forever and to truly live in it because it will be over at some point. It is temporary. Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines (a book I would highly recommend) quoted a friend of hers saying that on this journey, "everything is interim" (p.206) ... hmmm everything is interim. I think I agree with her. Each path is somehow leading to another path and another and another and another until we leave this earth. Students continue to progress from one grade to the next, seasons bring different moods and emotions to the surface, people get promotions or decide to move or get married or stay home to start a family, goals and dreams develop and adapt, and frequently it is all uncontrollable - like getting older- it is just happening. Life changes as fast as the time it takes to rearrange a bedroom or change your nail polish from hot pink to sea foam green. It is constantly moving, shifting, turning in unexpected ways. Friends come and go, some sticking, but most flowing - and that's how it's supposed to be. We need different people in our lives for different seasons... Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Absolutely. We wouldn't be the people we are had our lives stayed the same for years. Sara Groves sings a song called Painting Pictures of Egypt - the chorus is what I'm talking about:
I've been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked,
the future seemed so hard and I wanna go back.
But the places that used to fit me, cannot hold the things I've learned.
Those roads were closed off to me, when my back was turned.

The past that we remember is not always accurate, which is such a beautiful thing - And the future is scary - transitions around every corner. But we can't go back, because now we are older and have grown wiser. And now those places where we belonged are too small. We have outgrown them. And it is a beautiful thing. Without a doubt, the biggest comfort to me in all of this is serving a God who is big on plans. He sees the turns ahead and just asks me to trust who I know Him to be. Oh for the grace to do just that. Anything can happen. Life is scary. Transition is uncomfortable. But God is good. Thank goodness.

Book: Niequist, Shana. Cold Tangerines. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2007.
Song: Groves, Sara. Painting Pictures of Egypt.

Saturday Morning

Saturday morning at the Lorenc house is always pretty much the same. Minutes pass slowly as we sit around the kitchen table sipping on coffee and talking about 85 different things at one time. Currently the man of this house is editing a grocery list that his wife made because he is the one shopping and wants to make sure he knows exactly what each item is - how many times over the course of the last 30 years has this exact scenario taken place?
You can always tell when the caffeine has settled in and, having no food or protein to balance it, our hands start shaking and words start flying faster and with more intensity and more and more topics land on the table: Pinterest, recipes, Facebook, insecurity, music, the Rangers, family, traveling, the new baby, plans for the weekend, golf (mostly only one person talks about golf), movies, church, more recipes, work, annoyances, crafts, shopping, friends, family again and of course the new baby.
It is crazy, but I love it. We are a host family so our weekend plans involve people coming in and out and planning meals and snacks for the masses and we love it. As each of us breaks away one at a time to shower or get ready for the next activity, the kitchen becomes quiet again, but only temporarily. Later in the day when voices start filling the house this will all repeat itself - in the afternoon the coffee will turn to soda and at night it will turn to wine. But what stays consistent is a family of talking and laughter and planning. And we love it.

We are who we are.

Over the years, "The Lorenc girls" has sort of become a catch phrase. Growing up we were well known at church, in the youth group, extended family, at school, etc. We were in the 'good girl' category with the grand assumption (and lie) that we had it together and never did anything wrong. Well, contrary to popular belief, we definitely have our issues. We dont always agree, we dont always do the right thing, and we definitely dont always have it together. However, sometimes, when we're all in the same place, something magic happens. Abby Jane recently used the word magic to define my mother. She's right- we definitely get this from Mama. It's not the mystical kind but the real kind, that is only possible by the grace and love of a Father who wants his children to see him. And this weekend it happened. The oldest sister, full of wisdom and confidence and assurance in things hoped for, came into town. It was a last minute choice but one that definitely hit the spot. The next one down, sweeter and gentler than anyone I've ever known, who laughs easily and trusts fully, lives just north of the home we grew up in, with a faithful and loving husband who has been an incredible addition to our unit. And the baby of our sisterhood, created to worship and to direct people back to the one true God (a task she has grown into quite well), is currently in transition, hybernating in the safest place I can imagine, protected by a fiercely loving mother and father who believe fully in her ability and talent. So there we all were. A sweet moment frozen in time - laughter filling the halls of a house that has been full for years, tears streaming over life and love and where we are going from here, and conversations floating in and out of rooms about what we have learned and how we know God more now than we did the last time we were together. This weekend the moment lingered even longer, as we all decided to take a vacation day and reconnect on Monday. I cannot think of a better way to spend a day off than by listening and receiving a refill of hope, faith, trust, love and peace that somehow evades our lives when we forget who we are. That happens to me sometimes. I just forget. It's why I need community in my life to remind me that regardless of what I do, who I am stays consistent - and is much more important. This weekend they reminded me of the hope I have - and assured me that if I dont have it, they will carry it for me. They reminded me that I was created for a purpose and that God has not forgotten me. They reminded me that prayer and communion with the living God is what I'm lacking and what I'm needing. They reminded me that I am not what I do, but I belong to I AM and that's what defines me.

That's what the Lorenc girls are to me. Family - The best kind of family. My life would be less full without them and I know that when I forget who I am, the reminder is just a phone call away. They have shaped me, They know me and love me anyway.

We are not perfect. We can be difficult to be around and we dont always see straight, but when we're together, sometimes it's magic.

Rude Awakening

Well it happened. I should have known it was coming. I dealt with this same situation twice last week, though not to this severity, but still it surprised me. I was driving to work this morning feeling like things were normal. I left late, eyes half open, had my cup of coffee in the car, and got a phone call from one of the sweetest people I know (she calls me every morning like clockwork - oh how I will miss when she no longer goes to work early). Just a normal Wednesday. As we were chatting and I was moving in and out of traffic, I felt it. My eyes began to open a little more than is usual for this time of day as something began creepy crawling up my arm. I panicked, freaked out and shook my arm until whatever-it-was was gone - then proceeded with the conversation. A few minutes later it happened again. This time on my other arm. Whatever-it-was had traveled across the car somehow and was now tip-toeing up my left arm. So naturally, I panicked, freaked out and shook my arm until whatever-it-was was gone - then proceeded with the conversation. Now my eyes were almost all the way open (you have to understand it takes a small army to get me really awake). Then it happened again. But this time whatever-it-was decided to go in for the kill as it snuck DOWN MY FACE. Yes. I said it - Down. My. FACE. This was not a good experience. This time I freaked out, panicked, dropped the phone and shook my head until whatever-it-was was gone - then we proceeded with the conversation. Although now I was completely awake and not a happy camper. I still had not gotten a good look at whatever-it-was so I wasn't even sure how to approach dealing with it. As we continued talking I tried to stay focused but was sure this creature was still in my car somewhere probably about to crawl down my back or across my neck (even now I am shuddering at the thought). Needless to say I am not so sure what the sweetheart on the other end of the line was talking about. In my defense, after three freakouts she knew what was going on and I'm sure would sympathize with my lack of attention to her stories. So I thought up a master plan to search my car when I got to work, find whatever-it-was and destroy it. But then I actually saw it. This time plain and clear. A part white and part transparent creature with eight legs and a small body was spinning a web in and around my steering wheel and now I was mad. At this point the phone call became my last priority. (List goes: 1. Do not get in a car wreck 2. Do not get bit 3. Kill it 4. Phone call) I had to accomplish my master plan earlier than anticipated. Those legs were moving fast and I could tell this spider had one mission - to spin a web all around me until I was wound up tight and carried off to a little spider village. Well, not today little man! I put the phone down, slipped off my shoe, raised it up high and SPLAT! Poor guy didn't even see the red ballet flat coming. I felt a little guilty afterward because I am bigger than it, but it was trying to kill me so I think this falls under the self defense category. I would like to say a sincere apology to little man's family and friends (all of whom probably live in my car and have spent the better part of today scheming their revenge. Oh dear.) And since I was so late for work I didn't even have time to clean off the spider guts that were left behind. Gross. Somehow I am going to have to get all spiders out of my car and make sure they do not come back... That or invest in a fly slapper- now that would've come in handy. So the moral of this story? Next time you see someone driving like a maniac just remember they might be under attack so be patient while they destroy whatever-it-was. They're doing the best they can!

this is a first.

Firsts tend to creep up on me. They somehow arrive without any introduction and suddenly the first is happening, sometimes to quickly to recognize or appreciate it. Other times you know it's coming - like the first day of school. That date is on the calendar for months, but somehow I just don't pay attention to it so still, in my life, Firsts are sneaky. Maybe it's because anticipating change is not something I like to deal with - when it happens, it happens. And that's that - a blessing and a curse, I'm sorry to say.

Recently I have sat and dreamt about starting a blog. It comes in waves as random things around me inspire me to write. I don't have a whole lot of world altering thoughts and I am not sure how much of a habit this will become, but today I decided just to do it. There are wise people, funny people, inspiring life events and lots of things to laugh about and somehow they follow me around so it seems only natural to share them with you all. After all, most of the time there are things to be said - those of you who know me probably know this all too well - I don't promise to have words for every occasion. I don't promise to make you laugh at every post or any post. I am not going to change your world, but I would like to invite you to be a part of mine.
So I guess thanks for coming by :)

I feel it might be helpful for you to know where I'm coming from. I live a relatively quiet life; although I, myself, am not quiet at all. Mama was just commenting this morning that somehow I was born with no "inside voice" - a circumstance that makes me quickly noticed and easily in trouble, even as an adult... I am not sure what the word adult really means, although I am told that now that I have a "real" job and am supporting myself, I am technically one of them. I would beg to differ though. I still would rather play than work, buy a shirt than pay bills, drink coffee and sit and talk for hours than have to do anything but then maybe everyone has a little of that in them forever. Gosh, I hope so...
Simply put, I like to love life and I am excited to share mine with you.