new life calling

On Tuesday, my mom texted me in stress mode because she was packing for my dad's big wig business trip and she needed help. We go through this just about every time she is going to some thing la di da with my dad. So I went straight from work and explored her closet. She tried on some things and we picked out some outfits and then decided to return the new pants she had purchased (we just weren't convinced about the capri-length legging in those colors... she had gotten a greenish color and an orangey color - bold choices that I was so proud of, but just not working with anything she already owned...) Then I asked what she was planning to wear to their one nicer-ish event. She said this was one outfit she already knew she liked so she put it on. Now, my mother is beautiful - she's got amazing legs and recently has slimmed quite a bit - so this shirt that she has had for a little while and loved now had a problem. It was far too big. Always a subject you want to tread lightly on because when someone is already loving what they have on, you don't want to throw off that confidence, but I also could not let my mama wear that white tuxedo-looking shirt. It wouldn't have been right. So I told her that, even though I love the idea, the shirt just looks a little... well big... which let's be honest, is the best problem you can have. We searched her closet again and found another top that would work, but I could tell she wasn't loving it... Then she asked if we should go shopping. I mean I am definitely not one to turn that down so with exactly 18 minutes until I had to be at Bible study, I ran frantically around Chicos with my mother. Chicos would not always be my first choice (it tends to be a little older looking, and just not my mom's style), but the tuxedo shirt she had loved so much came from there so we went in search of the exact same thing, just a couple of sizes smaller. Well, they didn't have it. And we needed something. Now.

Challenge Extended.

I proceeded to run through racks in the store and found two or three options, one of which I already knew was my favorite - a beautiful red shirt with a pretty neckline and not too much cling. Something I would love to borrow (which I knew would be a selling point). She tried it on and it was love at first sight and did I mention it was RED?! Major progress for a woman who consistently drifts toward the neutral side. So, she bought it! (and the crowds went wild!)
Then with my time up and my mission accomplished, I flew out the door and down the street for Bible study. On the drive I realized that the fashion panic moments are my fave. There should be a TV show about that or something. It's the last minute, I have to have something that works now, and I want to love it attitude that fuels my fire. With people I know, I love to find things that work for them - something a little bit out there, but still very them. Usually I can find it in their closet (when it's your own clothes, it's easy to forget the potential there). But I don't mind shopping for something new at all :)
So I now think this is my new life calling... I will be the go-to for fashion emergencies... And designing the business card now...

Here's the shirt my mom bought (on a model - maybe I can talk my mom into doing a photo shoot for my blog) - oh and everything in the store that day was 40% off! It was like the stars aligned for us :) :)

Click here to see for yourself!

weekend of labor

This weekend (specifically yesterday) I had to make a pretty big decision. For those of you who know me, you probably gritted your teeth at that thought. I struggle with decisions - well I guess I should say I struggle with some decisions. Sometimes I can answer immediately - for example, yes, I will always want mustard on my hotdog and no I do not want to dive with sharks or swim across the Atlantic - easy. decision made. However, this was one of those life changing, feels like I am paralyzed, how am I ever supposed to know what I am supposed to do, what is the meaning of life type of decisions and so, I panicked. Completely and utterly and ugly cried for about two hours as my precious family tried to console me.

Fact: no one can make this decision except for you. oh greeeeaaaaaattttttt.

Fact: either way you are going to be okay. ya right. this one is definitely going to kill me.

Fact: God will never leave you or forsake you. I am pretty sure I believe that but it doesn't feel like it.

Katie: ugly cry, ugly cry, ugly cry

It's like I just wanted someone to tell me that I no longer had the choice, but instead I had to do whatever they told me. When both decisions sound okay, that is logical right? Just someone tell me what to do!!!! I tried to get my mom or dad to do that, but they refused, not because they didn't want to necessarily (but I do believe you didn't want to, right Mama?) But more because they believe in me. They believes that I am capable and that, more than I give myself credit for, I can make decisions. I have been practicing for years. I would have gladly allowed this sister to decide for me. She is wise and knows me well. But she didn't want to either - because she has made it almost all the way through her twenties and lived well and sees the value in these moments - in learning about yourself and knowing yourself and growing into yourself. I would have even let my baby sister choose for me, but she, too, could see the development happening inside of me and as my biggest fan, was confident that I could do it.

I, however, couldn't see what they saw. I couldn't see the ability. I could only see the problem. 

But honestly, these are the people we need around when the world gets blurry, when we can't seem to see straight and things are too overwhelming. Sometimes you just need people who will let you ugly cry and not judge you for making decisions hard. And they will even sympathize with you and agree that this one really is a hard decision and they may not envy you, but they believe in you and they believe in your God who will not forsake you and they believe in the Holy Spirit inside of you who will guide you. Because the world is super overwhelming. And sometimes we don't know what we're doing or where we're going. Toward the end of the conversation, my oldest sister asked if she could pray for me. (To quote some great friends, "Has it come to this?!") I wish I could tell you that prayer was my first instinct, but this time I thought I could do it - silly me. No. I couldn't. I needed the Lord. I need the Lord. So Abby prayed and then I realized that more than anything I need to pray - daily - no, more like moment by moment. I need to pray. I need to be in communication with the God who created me and who gives peace. I went later to a coffee shop and was reminded of this scripture:

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid... John 14

Peace. He gives peace. I am sure of it. And now the decision is all over with. And the world didn't end. He sustains me and He guides me. Thank goodness I am not just left up to myself.

Come thou fount of every blessing. Tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it. Mount of thy unchanging love.

sisters make everything better

Today I became completely aware of how much I was craving Fall. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Summer. I am a Texas girl through and through so late Winter and into Spring, I start counting down the days until I will get in my car and it be so hot, I immediately have goosebumps and can barely breathe. You may think I'm kidding, but I honestly love it. I love how freezing the AC gets and I love walking outside to let the sunshine heat my skin. I love swimming and laying out and reading. I love how long Summer days are and I love cooking out. Oh and my birthday and the 4th of July fall in the summertime. It's just an all around great time of year. The clock slows down and there is much less hustle and bustle. However, when school starts and August becomes almost unbearably hot, I start to dream of scarves and boots and pumpkin spice lattes and today was one of those days. I feel like I have really lived it up this Summer - Rangers games and fireworks, and a couple of trips to the beach, but today I realized I'm over it and so ready for the season to change. I'm ready for football and cold wind and snuggling in on my sister's couch with a hot cup of coffee. I crave the day that I will be engulfed in one of her large chairs, surrounded by reds, oranges and rich browns that just heighten the beauty of her already gorgeous house. Growing up we used to use the term "homesick" to help us define what we were feeling so if we missed home, obviously we were homesick, but if we just missed Mama, then we were "Mama-sick" and if we missed Christmas, we were "Christmas-sick" - you get the idea. So today, I am Fall-sick. On the way to work, I came to this realization, after leaving my sister's house where I had all of the perks of Fall, without the cool weather outside, which honestly means I may as well have had none of it. And I heard on the radio that tomorrow the temperatures will be back up into the hundreds. *sigh* looks like I wont be seeing the weather I am so desiring just yet, but as I sat at my sister's this morning, I was sure it was coming. I could almost taste the pumpkin bread and smell the cinnamon. Fall is coming. It is. It is. It is.
Until it does, I am hiding my scarves and boots from myself because I may just throw them on thinking I can handle it and then die from heat exhaustion. My sister's idea was to go through my closet and find my favorite Summer clothes - the ones I really miss during the Winter and can't wait to get out again as soon as the temperature hits 75. And only wear those this week. Now that is what I call good advice. So here's to the end of Summer and Fall on the horizon and sisters that provide a safe space during all months of the year.

i think i can. i think i can.

Can we stop for a second and discuss the fact that there are doughnuts in the break room? Doughnuts. DOUGHNUTS. They have been sitting there all morning and it's Monday and it's the first day of school and I forgot my lunch in the fridge at home and I really want one. And even though I keep telling myself that I don't need a doughnut. "It's just empty calories (and a lot at that). The sugar would not be good for me. I'll probably be hungry again in an hour. The sugar high would not be a great combo with the caffeine wave I am already riding. Etc. Etc." Despite all of the reasons, they are calling my name (almost audibly), as if they know me or can sense my ever growing want. They're not even the kind of doughnut that I prefer. (I mean once you have a blueberry cake doughnut, the rest pale in comparison). But still, I want. However, I am reciting to myself all of the reasons I should make the healthy choice and whispering "I think I can! I think I can!" every time I walk past the break room. Sure my coworkers are starting to question my sanity, but I am sure I will thank myself later... Or because I was so good this time, next time there are doughnuts in the break room, I'll be having one. Life is too short to go completely doughnutless.

In other news...
Did everyone remember that today is...
Meet-Someone-New Monday

For today, however, we will not be meeting someone, but more of a something... I am all about trying new things. I mean that within reason. I am probably not going to be the first one out of the plane, but if a group of people wanted to go sky diving, I wouldn't be a "no" right off the bat. I have one friend who is always up for crazy. She is completely nuts, but we absolutely love her this way and would never ask her to change. This friend adds a whole new level to life and even though sometimes her ideas are nuts, most of the time, she has enough energy and passion to get others on board. And I love that about her. Sarah has picked up a new hobby this summer and she has been begging me to come to the lake with her, but I couldn't make it happen until this past Friday. I knew she would jump at the chance to go paddle boarding because she's a member and she loves to take people for their first time. So Sarah, her sister, and I met right by the lake just after dusk. I am telling you I thought this was going to be super tricky. I figured I would spend 90% of my time frustrated or in the water or under the board or just laying on the board holding on for dear life, but it. was. awesome. Now just to clear up some common misconceptions, paddle boarding is not the boat that you sit in and pedal, Mama. Paddle boarding is where you stand on the surf board and use an oar to get around (think canoe). So we got to the lake, paid the rental fee, and were given a headlamp and a glow stick - The state of Texas deems a paddle board a boat so you have to have a light in front and back. Then we set out. And yall I was immediately a fan. We paddled around for awhile and then got our boards together, laid the paddles across them to make a raft type thing and enjoyed a firework show. I am not sure if I have expressed my love of fireworks, but they are my most favorite thing in the whole world. I love fireworks. My favorite holiday is the fourth of July and I prefer to go to Rangers games on Fridays; there is just something about them. *sigh* They never get old. So we watched fireworks and then paddled around a bit more. I was loving it and it was actually really easy...
....until I decided to show off my mad skills by jumping around on my board and simultaneously throwing myself completely off balance. I totally fell in and was laughing so hard I got water up my nose and down my throat. hahaha. Even now I am still laughing about it. I was flailing with the best of them.Once I caught my breath, I was back on the board and paddling as if nothing had happened. Except that every so often Sarah or Joy or I would giggle again. Such a fun way to spend a Friday night.

So in case you are thinking this is what you want to do for labor day, here's what you need to know: We went to Grapevine Lake, where they do fireworks every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day (so this weekend is your last chance to see them!). It costs $20 to rent everything, plus $10 if you need a lesson. If you go at night and you want to get a board that lights up, that is an extra $10 (and it's cool, but not necessary - we went with just the regular board...)

To sum up, GO TRY THIS!
And also go eat a doughnut for me : )

goal setting and the quarter life crisis

I read this post in Relevant Magazine the other day and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I don't typically read this magazine, but someone posted a link on facebook and in a moment of weakness, when I was wasting my life on the internet, I clicked on it. But it turns out, that article wasn't a waste of time at all. About every 6-8 weeks, I hit a... well it's a... let's just call it a moment in my quarter life crisis. Suddenly everything in my life is off track and nothing good will ever happen and I have only had bad hair days and I will never really accomplish my goals (mostly because I can't decide what my goals are) and there are too many everythings (books to read, places to see, food to eat, people to know, jobs to try, etc) and I just cant.
I
just
cant.
It's a bummer really because it will hit me out of nowhere and only afterward I remember that it had been a couple of months since the last breakdown and really I was due anyway so hopefully it'll be 8 weeks til the next one. But, unfortunately, in the midst of the freak out, I can't see straight and everything falls apart for a minute. And I get frustrated. I am not a ball dropper and yet suddenly the circus has come to a screaming halt because my juggling act has completely failed.The questions are typically in the same line of:
What am I doing with my life? Should there be something more? Am I missing my "moment"?
And even though I have encountered these questions a thousand times, the answers are still daunting:
I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW.
And perhaps the not knowing is the scariest part of all. The thing about the quarter life crisis is that it's not talked about, really. It's joked about. It's possibly mentioned as an explanation for what's wrong with someone but it's never truly addressed and it is as real as gum under a school desk. And without fail you'll be the one to stick your hand in the pink, germ-filled adhesion and then have no clue what to do with yourself because no one else seems to be sticking their fingers in gum.
Except me. Every eight weeks or so I stick my hand in a big wad of bubblicious bubble gum and then I panic. So in an effort to avoid embracing this fact of life and instead try to patch it up, I have been goal-setting. (It's one of those recommended remedies. blah blah blah) My roommates and I try to do weekly goals. They are little things like keep your room clean for the week or read a certain amount or eat breakfast everyday, but still at the end of the week, we feel accomplished because we did something we set out to do. These are great and helpful, but honestly it is the larger goals that make me feel like I'm trapped inside of myself.
One of the premises of starting this blog was to ask myself "Am I _______ (working here, living here, {not} travelling there) because I want to? Or because I haven't been brave?" And honestly 90% of the time, I am not sure of the answer to that question either. Is it because I haven't been brave? Ugh. Is it?
Wow this blog took a depressing turn as I settle into that question, but the good news is that the Lord won't ever let me just leave it there. You see, He put something deep, deep inside of me that will never be settled just leaving it there. So I get to that question and then I evaluate and then I remind myself of all of the ways that I have been brave and I remind myself that twenty-something is a difficult age to be and that only at the end of myself can I fully see and experience hope. Because there is hope and there is time and there is today. And today I am here - smack dab in the middle of where I am supposed to be. It's scary and sometimes I can't see the end, but it is what it is. So as I near the end of yet another panicked quarter life crisis moment (and pray against the next one), I am sending out a {hopefully} hopeful message.
You others who are sticking your free fingers in gum every so often, you are not alone. And when you feel it, give me a call. I am becoming a perpetual gum finder :) but still working every day to remember how to unstick it.
Also, if any of you have suggestions, they will be greatly appreciated and considered for immediate implementation. Thank you in advance :)

"you know there are those key moments...

in life when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool and I'm going to fail just a hundred percent!"

Well it's days like today that really make me laugh at myself. I struggled earlier this morning as I thought about what to introduce you all to today. And I wasn't feeling super inspired. I had to fight with an insurance company and a car shop about fixing my car and the time at work has just been passing by so nothing was really coming to mind. So there I was shopping at my all time favorite, home away from home store when it came to me, but not before a stupidly embarrassing moment (don't feel too bad - this is pretty much par for the course...) I'm standing in the deli section intently reading every ingredient on the pre-made salad boxes (I started a new cleaner eating sort of thing today - more on that later) to make sure there was no sugar in the dressing when I heard a guy a little ways behind me telling a little girl that she was going to eat salad for lunch. The little girl responded that she didn't like salad - it was gross and she wasn't going to have any. The guy answered back again that she was absolutely going to try it. This went back and forth a few times as they approached the deli counter. The guy left his cart and walked up next to me to begin examining the salad as well. As he picked one up, he asked which one I thought was the best and commented that it looked like I had really done my research... haha. I replied "Not hardly, but I think I'll go with the chicken, apple salad." At that point, I looked up into a tan face and beautiful blue eyes and of course glanced at the left hand where no ring could be found. He made another remark about needing to pick the best option and sideways glanced at the little girl who was still pouting. And instead of being really smooth, calm, collected, quick-witted and confident (I mean let's be honest - even one of those attributes would have been great), but no instead, some sort of mumble jumble came out of my mouth about his hands being full - stuttering ever so slightly, my face turning redder by the moment. And that was it. I turned and walked away wondering why I couldn't get it together and furthermore why I would have chosen such a rude statement in the one moment I had. It would have been way too easy to light-heartedly comment on how important it was to choose the correct salad or to say something to the little girl about how she should give salad a chance. Or even if I had decided to go the "hands full" route, I could have at least followed it up with how cute the girl was... But no I just landed on "wow you've got your hands full." Ugh. Unfortunate for sure. And since that encounter all I can think of are better endings to that story.
But, as I was hanging my head in shame at the check out line and barely listening to the couple of beeps, it hit me!
Today's Meet-Someone-New Monday
has to do with my favorite store in the entire world,

Now, I know I have an extremely loyal tendency so once I pick something, that's it. And for me, Target has been the go-to for years. Some weeks I actually go to Target more days than I do not go to Target. Sometimes I go twice in one day. I go on bad days, on good days, when I need nail polish, a new shirt, shoes, a greeting card, or when I need to pick up lunch. I buy gifts there and almost never leave without something really fun in tow. Last week, after searching at several other stores for a certain type of battery, I thought I would just check at Target since I was already there anyway and low and behold, they had it. I am telling you I'm a believer. And today just confirmed it even more. So there I was, kicking myself for the lack of etiquette, as the cashier says "That'll be $6.75" ***Note: Never in my entire life have I made it through this store with a less than $10 purchase. I am telling you this alone is an absolute miracle! And then I swiped my Target Debit card and the amount immediately changed to $6.13. How could you not perk up after something like that. I just saved money! The great thing is that every time I go to Target this happens. You see over New Years last year, my Aunt Sheryl told me I just had to get a Target Debit card. I know what you're thinking. I was skeptical too! But ultimately her wise words won me over and I gave in. She told me and now I'm telling you that since this is not a credit card, you eliminate the risk of interest. You see, Target came up with an idea to create brand loyalty. They connect to your bank and have a debit card system that works just like your bank debit card, only at Target. So you swipe just the same, enter your pin just the same and the money exits your account just the same. The only difference? You save 5% on every purchase - did you hear me? EVERY PURCHASE! So when I bought my travel gear for Guatemala, 5%; when I needed new clothes for my birthday, 5%; when I'm in the mood to buy my nephew something (which turns out to be always), 5%. And the thing is, I would have been shopping there anyway because I already had that kind of brand loyalty. So thanks, Target, for giving me one more reason to shop at my favorite store - not that I needed it :)
I am passing on this information so that you (yes, you) will jet out to your nearest Target pronto. I can't promise a blue-eyed beau, but I don't think you'll regret the 5% savings, ever :)
Happy Shopping!

It's the first! That means two things: Refresh Day and Pinspired!

Just hearing the word August brings so many conflicting emotions.... I am suddenly feeling the need to soak in the last days of summer while also rushing out to buy school supplies. The sun has gotten increasingly hot here in Texas so of course we are still in summer fashion. However, everything in me wants to send all of my friends bouquets of sharpened pencils and each day I become more and more excited about the taste of pumpkin spice. It is coming - I can feel it... *sigh* :)

Alas, on this first weekend of August, my sisters, mom and I will be heading to the beach for an end-of-summer girls weekend to properly celebrate what has been one of my favorite summers. And I am thrilled! 

Note: for those of you starting to feel bad for my Dad and brother-in-law, you are in good company. They are troopers to put up with the five of us. And honestly, will probably enjoy the weekend break from all of the chatter. But we still feel badly for not inviting them to the beach so I am sure we will make up for it by bringing back some fabulous souvenir...

Okay I am finally linking up to a couple of my favorite blogs on my first ever - Get Pin-spired post!

In light of heading to the beach for one last hoo-rah, I decided to look to Pinterest to refresh my beach wardrobe and "get pinspired" (Thank you, Shaeffer!) for girls weekend. We are pretty chill on vacation so as I was searching, I carefully bypassed the beachy party clothes (although some were fabulous) and went straight for the relaxed, simple look. Immediately, I fell in love with this pin..

Here are my creations (using the clothes I already had in my closet!):

First, I combined two of the pictures on the original strip. I love the white shirt with these Miss Me jean shorts - I looked for these shorts so you could buy them too, but I couldn't find them. I originally bought them at a small boutique in California and they have gotten some great wear. The necklace (similar one here) was a gift from my Granny for my birthday last week! I think she said it was from Kohls, but I couldn't find the exact one on their website. I love these color combos! 

This outfit really surprised me! I love how simple it is and definitely think it will be great for the beach. However, I would have never thought to put these colors together (thank you, Pinterest!) The shirt is really old and from New York and Co, but their clothes hold up so great so I will probably have it for several more years. And these shorts are the best ever! I love shopping at Loft :) These shorts are the 4", but they also have them in 6" for you lucky, longer legged women! And my hat from Dillards that I have worn out this summer. I looked for a link for you, but couldn't even find a close one at Dillard's. Macy's, however, has tons of cute ones.

I was telling my roommate about the Pinspired Party that I was linking up to today. And, of course, she wanted to join in the fun! I mean who wouldn't want to?!?! Since she doesn't have a blog, today I am featuring her outfit as well. You may remember when I introduced you to Katie here. Well here is her Pinspired look - so chic and great for a workday :)

Way to go, Katie :)

I hope you all are finding a fun way to kick off this first day of August!